today is moving day…. I’m packing my things and putting them in boxes. I have so many things to pack it’s ridiculous! My dad is coming over today to help. I love my dad so much but I have not been around him due to my weed smoking.
i finally got allll that shit out of my system. I probably smoked about 100 blunts and slept with about 10 guys in a 3 month period. I just feel ready this time to give it up bc I’m ready to get right with God and to get my skin looking better and to get my life back in order. It’s Tuesday so it’s still the beginning of the week. I will at least be 3-4 days free of weed by the time I attend a ball at end of this week… and by the time I see Shervin, I’ll begin to look a little like myself.
I am ready to change….ready for my life to begin as an actress and praise and worship leader, ready for my next boyfriend turned fiancé to husband, ready for my career to take off…. a guy name Jahleel said that if you keep circling back then you will make no progress, another guy Rico told me to never trust anyone cuz they will all steal from you if given the opportunity, and a guy named Marlon told me that we all fall down.. & God knows everything…. even if I’m buying Reggie or gas from the dealer… you cannot hide from Him. Of course, I try to but it never works. It’s best to live righteously even when you think no one is looking…. cuz someone is watching.
i sometimes don’t believe that theory but I test it from time to time to just make sure I guess… idk. But I do know this…. my parents, marlon, Shervy, my nephews, friends like: Keith and Spyder and Sister Marsha… they may be only a handful but they are depending on me to make it. I’m their hope that God will deliver.
i was blessed with a roomful of people that just wanted to hear me sing last night. They kept on complimenting me and the whole time I was thinking…. u really like my voice?… I’m always told that I have an anointing on my voice. I dont know exactly what that means but I truly hope that means God has touched my voice.
i pray Father that You remove all bondages in my life. I pray all that is evil will be cast out my life. All bad people gone! All bad habits gone! All insecurities gone! I just need your touch Father… a single touch to bring all that’s dead back to life.
I pray that my move will be successful, that I will move to whatever place you want me to be, I pray that I no longer need alcohol or weed or sex for relaxation…. I want to enjoy life with my husband so I can indulge in some fun. I pray that he finds me soon. I pray for a fairytale wedding, a Mercedes, a nice condo, a great career, and constant great food/travel destinations. I of course want more than anything peace joy and wisdom. Touch my life in such a special way Father….amen