Its Been Ages.

I know, I know, its been ages since I have written in here.  What can I say….life is good. 

“The boy” and I are just wonderful.  I really couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend.  He is the most sincere and genuine person I have ever met.  We are very happy together.  I am lucky to have him.

Now, I feel like venting tho.  Over the past few days, I have been in a turmoil.  Just annoyed, pissed off..I don’t know.  Ashley, my ex, and you all know the history on that….well he got a job down close to where I work.  Therefore I see him multiple times a day. And the bastard makes himself known every time.  He mocks me, he stares at me, he makes comments that I know are directed at me.  Plain and simple, he bothers me.  And I really know I shouldnt let it bother me because the more he knows it bothers me, the more he will do it.  But it just does.

Its not that I still have feelings for him or anything, because I am completley over him….I guess its just the ‘first love’ thing.  I just want us to be friends.  And I tell myself all the time that this time I will make a effort to be nice but then he just does something that instantly pisses me off.  I just wish he would grow up and act like an adult.

I also dont like that fact that he still comes to my house to visit my parents.  And he only comes when he knows I wont be there.  It hurts me that my parents dont tell me he was there….only for the fact that they know it pisses me off and upsets me.  Ashley is an engaged man…he does not need to be coming to visit my parents.  What would ‘she’ think of that?  I think she wouldnt like it very much.  And if I had the balls I would tell her.  But I am trying to be the bigger person here and let it slide….but howlong is this gonna go on?

I just don’t know how to deal with this.  I really do try to not let it bother me but deep inside it does.  It just makes me wanna cry.  Not that that would make it any better.  I usually dont say anything to him and I just wish nasty things under my breath but its hard.  What doI do?

Even during all this turmoil, I just have to think about the wonderful ‘boy’ I have waiting at home for me and it takes all the stress away.  He makes me realize that I have come a long way in the way of relationships.  Makes me realize that the only mistake I made was not finding him sooner.

Will write again soon, I promise.