Day 264.

Hi I am 5 years old today. I have so many new responsibilities like drinking alcohol and this is the day I become a millionaire. I met a friend called Kief, he is a Nigerian Prince. He said if I enter all the numbers in my bank account, I get 2x the amount in my roblox account using robux. This means I can buy all my favourite items like the troll face item and the piggy outfit. I was so happy in jubilation that I nearly shat myself, this makes me sad as I have crippling diarhea. anyways, I gave him all the details he needed and now I am a millionaire in white underwear with shat pants. I put my hand in my pocket to get my phone but all I got was a big fat dump of a brown turd. I was so mad, I threw it aggressively at my door, which my sister was standing behind. When I wall banged the door and headshot my sister. She started bleeding turds everywhere. She typed in chat ”wtf” and rage quitted. It looked like a warzone out of there. That’s why I called it Capture the Turd. My sister called me insane, she asked if i took my meds today and I replied what meds? and she returned in text ”oh no”, as I proceed to do 70,000 backflips not landing until I did my 69,420th one in which I did it successfully meanwhile Kief was at my door wondering why the door bell was covered in shit. As soon as he opened the door, A flying, acrobatic turd came into his line of sight and demolished him. I was proud of that shot because I threw it like a ninja star, I threw it like a banana peel ready to slip someone and I threw it like santa doing the griddy. I read a poem named thanks, now I have shat myself. I gave it to my friend Kief as a Christmas Present. He found it relatable as the first time he talked to me since then, he shat immediately. I heard him laugh so hard, he shat himself in silence. He sent me a message back saying ”thanks, I shat myself”. I found it relatable as the first time I talked to him since then, I shat immediately. He heard me laugh so hard, I shat himself in silence. I sent me a message back saying ”thanks, I shat myself”.

This is a real badoom tss moment