Today’s morning I had my hair cut. After that, I had lunch and took a nap, and attended a meeting at clubhouse. We talked about “The barrier of language”, the experience that we had any troubles we couldn’t become good at using English. For me, I feel the wall when I talk in English. I can’t listen, or can’t speak (my mind becomes blank), oh my gosh… but if I get used to that kind of situation, I get the clue of speaking so can talk and listen farther (of course, this might be my misunderstanding). Or my body starts speaking English naturally. That kind of getting used to speak and listen is the clue we can break the wall.

I went to the library and borrowed Yasuhiro Takeuchi and Syunki Boku “Solving Salinger”. I started reading it and found it was incredible. The important person Seymore Glass who committed suicide in the short story “A Perfect Day for Banana Fish” might not do suicide… that possibility is being chased by these authors. The thought goes beyond Salinger’s world to Haiku and the theory of time. Very profound! I felt thrilling so I want to read “Nine Stories” again. I can say this book is one of “our best books in 2021”.

I attended the “stop-drinking-alcohol” meeting. After the emergency state, we met in the real world. I talked about my experience as usual. When I speak English, I let my body speak. When I work, I feel the anxiety almost crush me… but my body works automatically. The leader said, “Let’s go with my pace”. I thought “my pace” was funny. Nowadays I am getting into this kind of “English in Japanese” maybe because I read Yoshio Kataoka’s books. Japanese grows with eating English words greedily. That’s interesting.

I talked about a “collaboration” with an Indonesian friend about a journal I’m writing in English. I can’t see how that story will go but I feel thankful if my English is OK. But I can’t think my English is getting better even I write it every day. Maybe I should do as I “study” English for my daily meals. The degree of “seriousness” of me is different from other people… Yes, I just write with “my pace”. I think it is glad if other people read it. Every day I learn English modestly. That will go beyond my idea… Maybe.

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