Living and Loss
On Monday I got the news that one of my former FADV co-workers passed away over the weekend. I worked with her for over five ears. Sometimes she was cranky. Sometimes she was mean. Sometimes she was crazy, but I still worked with her – and deep down inside I know that she was a good person and I was fond of her. Her wake is tonight at 6:30, which I can’t make because I work until 6. Her funeral is tomorrow, and both devon and I are going. It will be a chance to say goodbye. In a way it feels like something much grander – it’s a way to say goodbye to my old life at FADV, my old coworkers – the life that I thought I knew. In addition, I can say goodbye to my coworker.
This is the first death I’ve experienced since I came out as an atheist, and while it’s hard, it’s also strangely calm. There is no "heaven" to wish upon her, to tell her family and friends to give them false comfort. She’s just gone. The person that I thought i knew is gone. Whatever made Judith JUDITH is no longer there. I do have to say, though, that it will be incredibly weird to willingly step foot in a church again. It’s been an incredibly long time. Strangely enough, i like churches. I just don’t necessarily like what’s taught in them.
The new job is going well. I’m almost all up to speed on my training, my teammates are nice and I enjoy the work. Losing my job was the best thing that ever could have happened – it truly was a blessing in disguise, just like Devon told me all along. Sometimes it’s just hard to see that far ahead in the big scheme of things when you’re caught up in the emotions of the moment.
This work by JMcFarland is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.
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