07/20/2011

I just gave myself brain freeze eating frozen peaches.

Short lived delicious moment followed by seering pain.

Such is my life.

I’ve been vampiring my way around the city for over a year now. Inhaling the fumes of so many glorious nights. Taking advantage of my feminine wiles, using men like toys, living completely from my base instincts. Then Marco happened. And so did his accent, his overwhelming sexuality. His depth, his depression, his outlook on life. He opened me up to thinking about more than sex. So much so that his crazy strong physical desire for me was almost not exactly what I wanted. I wanted subtance and material. Since our last… whatever that was… things have been weirdness. Alternatingly feeling blown off, hating him, wanting him oh so badly. It’s the bad boy, I don’t care about you thing. So I pulled away from him. Day later he says he has to see me before his class, even if it’s ten minutes. he meets me downtown. He looks so. fucking. hot. Feelings re awakened. I’ve always loved the mysterious, dark man in the back of the room. Unattainable, unreachable so I can assign my own patterns and textures to him.

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August 10, 2011

Im alive lol I miss ur diary!