Well, hello bees

Temp 47F Sky Clear Precip .3″

I’m not ready to be cold all the time. But it has started. On my walk this morning I wore a t-shirt, a sweatshirt and a zip hoodie. I know people love this kind of temps, but I am not one of them.

The weekend wasn’t a complete washout like predicted and the sun was out on Sunday so dog and I walked the paved trail yesterday afternoon where I spotted a single goldenrod amid a ditch of cattails. And it was crawling with bees. Which had me say out loud, well hello bees.

I am struggling mentally again. I feel too much pressure coming at me from all sides. The workload is building at work. My stupid sister has changed her visit to November, can we get together then? No. Honey is just leading me on about finding a new house. And that’s what is pissing me off the most.

He came back to MN with $500,000 and was looking for a house. I had a house, it wasn’t enough for him. So he finds this house but it was more than he wanted to spend but he liked it so much and had everything he wanted. I advised him to buy it and down the road he could downsize and use the proceeds for retirement. So we’re at that point. This house cost $374000 8 yrs ago. It will now sell for $575000 at a minimum. But he thinks looking at houses that now cost $350000 is not downsizing and where’s his nest egg? Um, hello? $200,000 is not enough profit? Any house in the 200K to 250K range needs a lot of work, meaning money. I am so sick of having this discussion. I thought it was resolved but he brought it up again with my daughter yesterday. This, after we looked at a house for $350K that met all his demands and met my needs. I AM PISSED.

I want to yell at the whole fucking world. My boss for keeping me at a wage that I can’t buy or rent on my own. My sister for pressuring me to see her. Honey for being a fucking asshole. The only, only, thing that makes me happy are my grandkids and I live too far away. I am so angry and so unhappy and so fucking isolated. I don’t know what to do at this point because I am stuck. I can’t get a new job when I live so far away from the jobs. I can’t get a new place closer to the jobs without a new job.

FML

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