I rarely have time these days to write or do much of anything. I have an almost 2 year old. Her birthday is in 2 weeks. A lot has changed. A lot. When you’re a parent there are responsibilities (endless responsibilities). There are highlights and low points. There are times you wish you could turn back the clock to before you were a parent. There are other times you feel so blessed to have this little person that you NEVER EVER would want anything any different.

Sigh. It’s hard. I have a great partner who is a wonderful father. We call him "Papa". And I am "Mama". I am still breastfeeding. She is a very active child, and doesn’t need a lot of sleep. She has red hair just like her Papa. I will try to post a pic. I am considering having another one but I had such a horrible pregnancy I almost can’t muster the courage to do it again. I was so sick. Nauseous, became depressed, had bouts of chronic fatigue, which I have since learned is a liver condition I have that is pretty much untreatable! Blah!

I am lucky. Life is good. But it is hard dealing with low energy levels when you have a toddler.

Food is basically no longer an issue, although I would like to lose weight, I just don’t see how it’s possible. I need energy to get through the day, and food often is a comfort during stress. I am also worried about screwing with food as I know that slippery slope only too well. I just don’t have the time to focus on losing weight, because I am so darn busy being a Mama.

She is in daycare 3 days a week. I think I’d go nuts otherwise, as she is very active (even for a toddler).

I miss days where I can just lie in bed and contemplate the world. I need slow time. I need me time.

I am also very creative and have way too many ideas and projects on the go, that I"ll never have time to give the focus I want. It is annoying being so creative and having endless ideas in my head. If only I had more time.

I do miss being thin. But what can I say. I dunno. I am my set point weight now. The weight I was for almost a decade before I got sick, and the weight my body likes to be at. It’s normal weight. It’s really hard trying to care too much when you are a Mama and have many more important things to care about.

But I do miss journalling.

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February 7, 2013

Glad to see you back. Hope that you can stay without risk of triggering. I think many of us have moved on to better places in our lives and the memories of our disorders are no longer the defining moments they were before. Your daughter is gorgeous! What is her name?

February 8, 2013

Aww, she’s beautiful! And those boots are awesome. 🙂 I have the same weight frustration…I’d love to weigh what I did before I had a baby, but who has time to be all obsessive about it? Much more important things to think about now. 🙂

February 8, 2013

she is adorable!!! you have a family now, do not give into the eating issues addiction. it is just not worth it, she needs you!

February 8, 2013

Ohh she’s adorable! I’m SO happy to hear you have a family, and you’re healthy! And I hope it will become easier and easier to be normal weight as time goes by. I bet having me time isn’t easy when you have a toddler. But coming back to OD is a good start! 🙂

Awwww she is so beautiful I completely understand this entry because I have 2 girls too. I’ve missed reading you.

too true ‘t’s normal weight. It’s really hard trying to care too much when you are a Mama and have many more important things to care about.’

March 6, 2013

Welcome back 🙂

May 2, 2013

I miss you Congratulations on your beautiful daughter – she’s very sweet, but she must look like her Papa – she’s so fair! Good to see you here <3

August 16, 2013

I’m so glad for you. Be happy rather than thin if you have to choose.