I don’t want to raise my kids alone, I don’t want to sleep alone, I don’t want to ‘own’ my orgasm or my body either.
I want to crawl into bed after a long day and melt into my man. I crave the insertion of his knowledge in me every day. As a matter of fact, I pose no limit to the knowledge he gives to me. I want to breathe him in, feel his strong arms wrapped around me, touch his body and know I am safe. Not just physically safe because he’s bigger and stronger then me but emotionally safe too.
There is strength in a partnership to feel supported, heard, acknowledged and valued. There is opportunity for growth when you are vulnerable, challenged and shown a different point of view. There’s poetry, learning and lovemaking when you communicate well.
What is so awful about wanting that? Why does admitting I want this make me weak, needy, guilty like I alone am not enough?
I’ve done my work. I’ve fallen in love with myself and I love myself first, intensely. I recognize my value and I think I’m pretty fuckin fantastic. I know my strengths and I’m working on my weaknesses and the only thing I could ever promise you is that I’ll always take care of myself.
I don’t feel like I need someone to complete me because I’m already complete but I do want to share my life with someone.
Someone I can laugh with, cry with, dream with, create a beautiful life with, make music with, begin traditions that will last decades with, be physically and emotionally naked with.
I crave a man I trust completely. A man who’s living his purpose and stands firm in his truth with intensity and courage together and independently.
I desire to love and be loved at a level I know exists but haven’t experienced yet. I want to be desired, chosen, and passionately ached for. I want to surrender and assist in his expansion. I want to open all parts of me. Especially those parts that have been damaged, hurt, closed off and hidden away for so long and invoke our power we have to heal and regenerate one another.
I don’t want to have to protect my heart, I want to let go of my fear. I want to feel safe and find a man worthy of my heart and to be the woman worthy of his.
And while I long for a man with this depth of desire, I will wait for the one who knows himself as deeply, has moved past excuses, will never settle, dreams as big as I do and lives with the evidence of the courage of his convictions.”