Its really hard to do this.
And I’m afraid if i do, i will have lost him forever, but i already have so why can’t i drop it?
I can. I’m trying so hard to just be that strong woman i used to be, even before i was married.
The thing is, i was a whore as well.
Now, i don’t want that with anyone else, and i have kids.
So i can’t do that, anymore.
And with my self esteem in the hamper and most of my teeth missing, thats my very next step after i get my vehicle, its to get my teeth done. And after that step, look tf out.
I plan to go back to the poisoning bitch i once was.
I can hire a babysitter.
I can allow my son to watch her for a few hours while she’s asleep.
The thing is, i want him. And if he sees I’m out, again… he will take notice. But if i show i am waiting, he won’t.
I’m pissed at myself for having to play the game but i will. And when hes back, i will show him a good time, make him feel wanted and leave him.
He just gotta step and he’s not for some reason and the only reason i can think of is he has someone else.
Nothing else really makes sense.