The connection.

Been heavy on my mind and Let’s be real, if you’ve ever had a crazy connection, you’ll always want more.

It’s like a drug. It IS a drug.

And that’s probably the answer to why I feel like I do.

I want the connection. One that is well above the last connection. The last connection was purely toxic and destroyed every ounce of trust I’ve ever placed in another person and this is why it’s dangerous. I’m not in love. I want to be in love but I never want to ever have to guess again if it’s true or not.

Have you any idea how many people I know would drop dead if they knew about us? Or that I’m even considering it or that after all these years he’s confessed how he really felt about me?!

Yet here I am. Hopeful. Wishful thinking. Wanting and craving that connection but I’m not going to reach out. Just dreams afraid to chase.

I want the chase but I want the forever, too.

He knows where to find me.

Tonight, I’m going to bed early.

My brain hurts.