Late night shenanigans

Here I am again, at 1am, wide awake. I met with a close friend today who is home in Sydney for two weeks. She now lives in London and works between there, Glasgow and Nottingham. We had a 2 hour lunch in the Rocks, near where she used to live. We caught up on old times and the intervening 18 months since I had met her last.

She is the funniest lawyer I have ever met and we share the same first name. She reminded me how few available, straight men there are in Sydney and how many there are in London. She said, so many, that you practically fall over them on the streets.

With my current level of friskiness, I had a more than a fleeting moment about going back to London. I did meet some interesting men when I lived there. I just don’t seem to meet any in Sydney. I often wonder if I should move to Melbourne. I love Melbourne and it seems much more relaxed, communal and unpretentious compared to Sydney. I would however, miss going to work on the ferry, seeing theatre performances at the Opera House, at the Wharf at the Rocks and in Darlinghurst; or indie cinema in Newtown, Paddington, Leichhardt or Circular Quay. Get to the point… however, men "appear" to be more appealing in Melbourne.  

 

Earlier in the week, I met with my Canadian girlfriend and we went to see a play at the Seymour Centre called Love Song Dedications. Prior to the play, I told her the story of my silly indiscretions and she laughed hard with me. I have spent so much time saying I would never ever be caught in this particular Casanova’s trap and how stupid other girls are for being seduced by him. She laughed that I let temptation overcome me and I laughed long and hard at how random it was. It was completely unpremeditated. It had been July since I had been with anyone and I have been obsessing about sex ever since.

 

We laughed before the play and we laughed throughout. It was completely unpretentious and extremely funny. It sends up a late night radio show that is on air in Sydney that caters for the love struck proletariat and is hosted by the campest radio host. He weaves in between sincerity and irony so easily. There were about 8 different scenes all connected by one person’s story to the next. Each scene culminated in a hilarious sex simulation scene that did not involve any touching whatsoever. The exaggerated moves were a cross between Marcel Marceau and bad porn.

 

The actors were young and reminded me of the eldest of my three younger sisters who is studying drama. I called her up the next day and told her that I would pay for her and her boyfriend to go on Friday night. She said, "You’re kidding, I go to uni with all of those actors, they are my friends".

 

I picked up my little friend on Saturday. His mum is in trouble, he has not been going to school as the kids there have been hassling him about all of the trouble she is in. The worst case scenario means that she might be facing some time inside.

 

I had agreed to pick him up at 12pm, take him Christmas shopping, then to see Casino Royale at the cinema, dinner with my sisters at a local pub and then for a spin in my car through a local suburb that decorates its streets with the most ostentatious Christmas decorations you could ever find. I asked her if it would be too late for me to drop him home at 10pm. She said she was fine with that.

 

We had a fun time together, however, at dinner his behaviour was inappropriate when meeting new people, including the eldest of my three younger sisters, her boyfriend and my youngest sister’s boyfriend. Given the circumstances he has been in at home, I didn’t feel like lecturing him about it. We drove the 30 minutes back to his place to get there just a little before 10pm. His mother wasn’t there. We tried calling her mobile phone, we buzzed their intercom, we called out, and we drove around. She was nowhere to be found.

 

I had drive back to the kid’s home to drop off my little sister’s boyfriend back to his mum and then back to my little mate’s place again. In the meantime his mother turned on her mobile to call me to say she was on her way

home. I arrived back at their place and waited another 20 minutes for her to arrive. She was over an hour late and had been at the pub. 11 hours of ADHD.

 

Yesterday, I lay in bed, wrapped Christmas presents, slept, read other people’s diaries, slept, ate, and watched two DVD’s (“P.S. with Laura Linney and Topher Grace; and "The Weatherman" with Nicholas Cage). I like all three actors but at the end I thought to myself that I will never get those 4 hours back. What a waste both films were, completely unchallenging. Then I thought I would watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch but I was in a crappy mood by then and could not bear the "rock musical" quality to it. I had turned it off within 8 minutes.

 

I started to think yesterday about how easily I have let myself be manipulated by family, friends, lovers, managers and colleagues. I think that my new year’s resolution is to be a bit more considered about the choices I make when helping people. I found something on the net yesterday that discussed how people who have grown up with alcoholics become very people pleasing, and that they are always in fear of offending anyone or saying no to unreasonable behaviours. It sounded very familiar to me. I am known for my generosity. I have found in the past when I have turned off the cash tap that people, including with my family, people seem to disappear on me. When I put it like that, it sounds as though I am actually paying these people to be in my life and in effect I am.

You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.
Edwin Louis Cole

 

Anyway, I have done way too much thinking and not enough doing. It is time for me to return to my late night shenanigans.

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thank you for your lovely kind notes. i am sorry that you have had to go through so much and am so pleased for you that things have picked up for you. i do intend to talk to my nurse tomorrow…i appreciate your thoughts and hopes. x

December 18, 2006

Hey, a waste of a film is Before Sunset. Complete and utter boring rubbish. And I never found anyone in London. I was probably looking too hard. The handful of sand. Or maybe I was preoccupied with someone else. *shrug*

December 19, 2006

melbourne’s wonderful. just come and you will find as many lovely distractions as sydney. warm intimate introspective places.

December 19, 2006

damn it’s annoying when women say that there are few available, straight, men around. Ummm … hello?

RYN; add away! I love Aussies.. 😉 My best (guy friend) happens to live in Australia… Thank you for your kind notes. It really is nice to know we are not alone, ya know?

And hey…I have not read your whole diary…but if you are looking for a GREAT guy, my “best friend” lives in Epping…

December 19, 2006

I think a certain word here deserves mentioning a third time — SHENANIGANS! There 😛 People always say I’m too nice. You sound too nice, too, but probably on a larger scale. So I haven’t been taken advantage of like you have, probably. Btw, isn’t 35 like, a woman’s supposed sexual peak? (assuming that is your age). I have nothing further to add to that… just thinking out loud, ha 😛

RYN; Go say hi! Here is his diary addy! 😉 http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=D693086

December 19, 2006

Hi. My friend T sent me your link. We are supposed to be nearby. Anytime you want to chat let me know…..and there are available guys in Sydney. You don’t need to worry about London or Melb.

December 19, 2006

Hi. My friend T sent my your link and she thinks that we live pretty close to each other. Any time you feel like talking let me know. Oh and by the way you don’t have to go to Melb or London for a distraction. There are plenty of guys around. Well at least one that I know of.

December 19, 2006

Be careful out there. You deserve to live and live it up. But don’t let others manipulate or control you. Stay true to yourself and you will not regret your actions. Thank you always for the wonderful notes you always leave for me.

December 19, 2006

I used to work at Nepean hospital, so just about all of my workmates and patients lived in the blue mountains. Nice enough, but too close to home still. not really my cuppa. all hippies and retirees. Wagga may just be what i need. I hated london. i never thought id leave the city, but im over it. i hate the mad rush. now I feel like slow is better. and i just love a country boy 🙂

December 20, 2006

away from the world for a long time.The main reason for that is because I didn’t want people asking me about it,I wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.This time though,I would like people to ask.I would like to think that people care.Ive become used to people not caring about him but I thought people who cared about me might make an effort to just see that I was okay.Guess it shows who friends are

December 21, 2006

like i said i spent some time in melbourne (where i met nguyet lien too) – it’s a fine place but when it comes to mingling with people, i have the feeling you have to get into the right circles. it’s the same in HK except we have small circles here and we know where to go if we want to run into interesting people – Asia is the place to socialize! =D

December 21, 2006

also i wonder how it’s like to grow up with siblings – though I imagine you guys must have had a hard time and being the elder (or the eldest?) sister must have driven you to be a bit more accomodating and caring than you could afford to be. anyway, keep having fun and take care of yourself merry xmas if i dont get to read you again before then

December 21, 2006

ryn: I’m finding this time harder than the other times though and I think it’s ’cause he was supposedly in his right state of mind when he did these things.If I found out he had done stuff like this SINCE the OD,I’d probably be able to forgive him easier.I don’t get how you can end up placing drugs above everything else in your life.Be thankful you have that distance between you and Ben.It’s tough