Tomorrow

Well friends tomorrow makes 2 weeks since I’ve kicked him out. In the two weeks I’ve sent 3 texts, only in response to him texting from an unknown number about the rest of his things. After I responded about his things I blocked the new numbers as well. I haven’t had the urge to text him and beg him back like I have with the others…. After my divorce I learned that the thing that narcissists hate the most is no contact…. So by going no contact one it helps me heal, and two it drives “them” crazy. I joined a healing and recovery group tonight, so I’m hoping to start breaking these patterns of settling and ending up with men who abuse me and treat me like garbage. I’m working on me for once, not running out and trying to get into another relationship. The desire to be with someone just isn’t in me like it used to be when I’d break up with someone. It’s like we’d break him and I’d instantly have to have someone else I was talking to. Trying to fill a void by latching on to a man when you’re broken is a bad idea! It’s gotten me in these toxic abusive relationships. I swear I’m going to get better and when I’m healed I know God will send that man that will make me realize why I went through all of this. But for now… I’ve been through so much abuse… I have to heal my brokenness … I want to make sure I’m in tip top shape mentally for when I meet my forever…. I don’t want to bring this abusive baggage into my next relationship….

i still have days where I struggle. But I have once cried once or twice in this two week period… so that counts right? This breakup is a lot easier to heal from than my others…. I think it’s because I’ve already been through a narcissistic breakup… and I am finally starting to see it really wasn’t me…. It was him.

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October 28, 2021

Good on you, hun! 💗

It is okay to cry! Who cares if you cried once, twice or every night since then…you are moving on and it is understandable to be feeling emotional. Besides the emotion of moving on from him and the relationship, you have to remember, particularly with the way you talk about what you want now and what matters now, you are also moving on from your old self.

Just remember to stay strong 💪

October 28, 2021

@ncumisa yes and I’m so proud of me. I’m making huge strides already and I know I’ll be even stronger once I’ve healed. I don’t feel much emotion when I think of him. When I think of him I’ve been told to pray for him. So I do, and I always have to tell myself over and over that I forgive him. I’ll never forget what he did to me, but holding on to that hate and bitterness is just making me bitter and I’ll internally.

October 28, 2021

October 28, 2021

Great the way you’re thinking things through.  A support group is a great way to bounce ideas off other people who have been in similar situations.  You will be put together again.  There is no rush.  Hope the kids are handling everything okay.  I assume they are quite young.

October 28, 2021

@tracker2020 the kids are so happy that he is it out of our lives. They’re happy to not see me cry every single day anymore. They’re adapting amazingly to this split.