Someone asked the other day,
‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up’
We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’
‘C’mon, seriously, they said Where did you eat?’
‘It was a place called ‘at Home,” I explained!
‘Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work,
we sat down together at the dining room table,
and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate
I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going
to suffer internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how
I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about
my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levi’s,
never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country
or had a credit card
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card.
The card was good only at Sears Roebuck.
Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
And there’s no Sears anymore either.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because
we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably
50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air
at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God;
it came back on the air at about 6 am.
And there was usually a locally produced news
and farm show on, featuring local people.
I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called ‘pizza pie.’
When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth & the cheese slid off,
swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too.
It’s still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house
was in the living room and it was on a party line.
Before you could dial, you had to listen
and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our house, but milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys & all boys delivered newspapers.
My brother delivered a newspaper, 6 days a week.
It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got
to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.
On Saturday, he had to collect
the 42 cents from his customers.
His favorite customers
were the ones who gave him
50 cents and told him to keep the change.
His least favorite customers were the ones
who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut.
At least, they did in the movies.
My Dad was cleaning out my grandmother’s house
and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle.
In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.
I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea.
She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something.
I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board
to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons.