I have never liked Mondays. Combing through some previous entries from when I first started a diary..it’s more than a trend, heh. Today is the second week I am back to working the dayshift at our bar. It’s not awful, since it’s a slower shift and I do get a lot of things done..but it’s a lot of bullshit sidework that I shouldn’t even have to do. The staff is constantly not pulling their weight when it comes to the extras..but those extras are extremely IMPORTANT! I hate when I am grabbing a bottle of vodka, and the entire thing is sticky because no one cleaned the liquor wells and bottles off on Weds. I took so much forgranted being a bartender. If I had only realized the stresses that would be made mine upon owning a business, I probably would not have chosen this life. Fucking hindsight is 20/20 right?
The girl that used to work this shift called off work last Monday through a facebook post, like 45 minutes before the start of the shift. Then the police showed up here looking for her. She was problematic anyways, always fucked up on cocaine or something else. Always late 20 minutes to sometimes even two hours…but for some reason I always found a reason to excuse her from being fired. I knew she is stuck in an abusive relationship, and had a record. I caught her giving away drinks more than once..but something in me always tries to see the very best in people. My good employee..although a drug dealer on the side just put in his two weeks notice, and that sucks. I never really cared what he did on the side as long as it didn’t affect here. he made friends and connections, and his friends come in a lot. Losing him will be a hit on our clientele, I am sure of it. I know he will still come in as a customer but man,,just sucks bevause he always would come in and cover a shift when needed, or work doubles and long hours where he knew he would make the money. None of the other staff does that. Even my head bartender, who has no kids…she NEVER is around when a shift needs covering.
A line cooler went out on Saturday. The whole thing needs to be replaced. The cheapest one I have seen online is 2099.00..plus tax. I’m sure there is a hefty delivery fee on something like that….and with the back taxes I owe, and the fact that rent is due at the same time payroll comes out….I think it goes without saying that I don’t have the money to fix it. My cook who makes 18 an hour is telling me he has job offers elsewhere for 21…and with his cooler not working making it harder for him in the kitchen..well..I am worried he will jump ship. Replacing him would be impossible.
north coast music fest is this weekend. It’s the first time I am going with friends…and not with a partner. Brad doesn’t enjoy the shows like I do..and honestly, I am afraid if he went with me that he would just end up fighting with me. I hate that so much. I hate that it’s a ticking timebomb between us at all times. I love him but it feels like we are WORLDS apart. Even if he seems to think we are saying the same things..we just aren’t. And maybe it’s me…maybe I am this total control freak asshole…but I guess I waited til I was 35 to get to that or something. I know I had trouble in my past relationships..who hasn’t? But I have never fought with someone so intensely. And so FREQUENTLY. His mother drives me up the wall, and I feel like I have nothing in my life that is mine. Her house, his kids, their messes.
My son starts 7th grade on Thursday. I had him in private school the past two years, but I can’t swing the cost anymore. Anyways, enough of my bitching, I have an adult prom to plan. Lord please let me find a dress. And make these carnival games a reality.