The grandkids

They have had a horrid time with their grandpa’s death.

Surprisingly B talked it out immediately.  She was 7. She created. She wrote. She talked.

Grizz was home 24 7. They stayed with him while i worked. Sometimes he got more quality time with them than me.

Their bond with him was tight. Unique. He was their world.

N had actually been here that weekend. He is 4.

So hes has had the roughest time, of sorts, and went through some extreme coping habits that only a 4 year old mind could think to do.

In fact it was about 4pm and grampa was teaching noah to use his pedals on his bike, and noah finally did it.

We were outside closing up for the day. I was getting trash done.

Grizz had been working on our car all day and was getting his tools put up.

N’s mommy and daddy, my oldest daughter and her husband arrived to pick up N.

They hung out a bit.

Grizz started cooking his hamburgers.

We were excited for the World Series.

He was a little disheartened that the kids didnt stay to eat and watch it with us.

Z raced out the door to go to work. I think he stopped a second to consider taking a burger and just said he would grab some thing.

We ate.

He went in the bathroom to get on his flannels.

I went upstairs to hang up the rest of the laundry.

I was walking to my chair.  He came out of the bathroom.

I noticed no distress.

I didnt notice he just had on his boxers and no pants or maybe something would have clicked, he was a modest man, he stayed covered. I didnt notice hr just had on boxers till i was doing cpr on him.

If the dog hadnt jumped up and ran to him.

My dog actually has a “death pose” i sadly knew. For too many reasons (the cat. The neighbor) and i turned to see why the dog was still.

And that was that.

Our lives changed forever.

All n knows is one second he was riding his bike while pa pa put up tools  and the next he was being whisked away from his supper he had just sat down too to stand over his deceased pa pa and have closure.

I cant imagine what runs through his mind about that day.

He has NEVER wanted to talk. It created a physical pain it almost seemed.

So last night i pick him up. He gets in the car and says “you know pa pa is asleep forever”

So i thought this is it. Deep breaths. Hes ready.

So with each question i said He is on our hearts and memory forever. Hes with us”

In his mind something on pa pa broke and he cant come back.

He said

“Its me and you forever drummaw”

That made me smile



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March 26, 2018

I’m happy to see you writing again, but wish the reason you were writing was different. I’ve missed you and I feel your loss.

March 27, 2018

@grantmegrace thank you so much! I am glad we are all back here.

Once this work schedule dies down of me only have one day off and working 4 i hope to share more.

March 27, 2018

@hankskisses. I sure hope it dies down for you quickly.

March 29, 2018

“Its me and you forever drummaw” – that is the sweetest thing ever

April 1, 2018