A Love Note <3

I think the reason why I feel happiest this time of year is because people all over the world are in the Christmas spirit all at the very same time, so it’s like this huge amount of positive energy is surrounding the globe and it’s so strong that it affects us all! I like to think that’s why 🙂

Right now, when it comes to my career, I’m not very satisfied with myself.  I don’t have an agent yet, which has been my main goal for my first year being here and I guess I figured I’d already have one by now, buuuut on the other hand, the year isn’t over yet! At least I am moving. I have to stop being so down on myself and think positive. Focus on the good things I am doing. Feb marks a year for me, so I guess I still have time to reach my goal! At least I am making good relationships with fellow actors whom I can call my friends now 🙂  I am so grateful for people like my friend Anisha who is completely fearless. She gives me the push and the motivation to help me move forward. She’s super supportive and I love her for that 🙂 She also knows just the right things to say to make me smile and has this sort of positive vibrant energy about her that you can’t get enough of 🙂

Also while I’ve been here I’ve learned a lot more about the industry so I have a clearer understanding of how to go about getting what I want, and I’ve gone on many auditions and filmed enough things to make a small reel. So  I am still moving forward, even if its just centimeters at a time. One thing I’ve learned since I came to L.A. though, is that I am not as patient a person as I thought I was! I am starting to realize just how long it’s going to take me to get anywhere close to my reaching my goals. Not weeks, not months, but years! Already this year has exhausted me, but I think it’s just because I’ve spent most of my energy just getting used to the culture shock and trying to get settled. So this next year will be a lot easier for me and hopefully it becomes easier with each year that I am here 🙂

One step at a time, I’m going to keep climbing! My only enemy is fear, which I find myself constantly fighting. What am I afraid of? I have no idea. There’s nothing for me to be afraid of, but still it’s there, and I don’t know why. That’s one thing I want to figure out because it keeps me from moving forward. I want to become a go-getter. A warrior that won’t let anything stand in my way. 

I think I am just one of those people that don’t like change and I just need to move slow. 

I can’t wait for the day that I feel completely content with where I am at in life. That day will be pure bliss! It’s the image I have to keep envisioning.

Wow 9 days until I go home for the holidays.

Oh man, haha,  I just teared up. I’m such a baby. I just really need the love of my family and friends back home right now. To watch tv with my dad, and help my mom cook in the kitchen, and play in the snow with my friends 🙂  I just really need that love to recharge me for the next grueling year here in L.A. *sigh*

Ah I can’t wait! 

At the moment I am playing christmas carols while cleaning up my apartment. You’d think it would make me happier, but it’s actually making me pretty lonesome 😛

Tomorrow is my second time looking for an ugly christmas sweater for this weekends ugly christmas sweater party. Dawn will be accompanying me 🙂 I am looking forward to hanging out with her because we haven’t had much alone time together and I want to get to know her better because she is such an amazing person. She’s so giving and really reaches out to people to make them feel good. I just love her! Oh and I am friends with her boyfriend Ryan as well! He’s really the nicest guy! Such a sweetheart and has taken the time to make me feel welcome here in L.A just as Dawn has 🙂

Friday I get to spend more time with my girls Rebecca and Kathryn! I made dinner for Rebecca a couple of days ago and we hung out until Kathryn joined us and then we had a healing session. Those girls are just pure joy to be around. So fun loving and high spirited! I feel so blessed to have found them 🙂

Oh what the heck, I’ll just write a love note to the rest of my L.A. people 🙂 because I feel like it!

Whitney Gamble where have you been all my life? You are such a great roommate and friend. So understanding, and kindhearted, and fun! I will never get bored of seeing your face every day that we live together 🙂 I just love you so much! 😀 and deep down I maybe kind of enjoy when you sneak up and scare me lol

Kellie, Katie and Dominique! you all have made me feel so welcome in L.A! I can be so shy sometimes when meeting new people and you all reached out to me and I appreciate you so much for that! I recognize beautiful hearts when I see them and I hope to become much closer with you all 🙂

Richard, Dashiel, Jared, Andrew A, Dan! When I moved out here I did not expect to make many guy friends, but I am grateful  that I did! You are all so much fun to hang with and I find myself in high spirits whenever I hang out with you!!  You are each wonderful in your own way!

Same goes for Andrew G, Trevor, David, Adam, Max and Michael. I am glad to be getting to know you all better! It feels wonderful to be closer to my classmates 🙂 All of you have such nice, comforting, supportive things to say! You’re all little lights here in L.A so don’t let anyone put them out!

Rick – I love that we can talk about philosophical stuff and that we have similar spiritual interests and ideas! I know I’ve been running around but I know we will def spend more time together! Thank you for your friendship and your support!

Dana- Oh what a little light you are! Shining brightly! I had the most wonderful time that day we hung out and I can’t wait to hang out with you again! 😀

Shanester! I’ve always enjoyed our talks and love that you’re a goof ball like me ^_^ I hope to become closer friends with you now that you live here in L.A.! I want to get to know you better because I can tell you have wonderful heart 🙂 You’re so positive and your encouragement really helps me out whenever I get down on myself, Thank you for that!

All right no more procrastinating! Back to cleaning.

Hanny