I have a favorite GiRlLeFtBeHiNd whose boyfriend, Brian,
wrote a little dissertation entitled Qualities I admire in XXX (I dont know
if I should put her real name in here).
Well, it was so lovely and wonderful and such a good reminder for all of
us old-time folks of what it was like when we used to be more observant of all
those things we loved about our significant others, that I decided to steal
it and use it as a sort of template to make my own dissertation as follows:
“Qualities I admire in My Husband – by Me
1. Sincerity- He doesnt just flatter me to flatter me,
although he knows compliments are important to me. He means the things he says, he doesnt just
say them to keep the peace
2. Loyalty- I may be very insecure, but I know in my heart
that he wont cheat on me. Even when I
am at my most depressed and meanest, I know that the reason he wont cheat is
not because of who I am but because of who he is and that keeps me feeling much
more secure than if I thought it was because of me.
3. Patience- Ive been struggling with getting over these
abuse issues for a lot of years and Ive come an incredibly long way, theres
no doubt about it, but when I slip into these depressive states, hes patient
with and kind to me.
4. Integrity- He is a man of God and, being so, he is honest
and upright as a human can be and when he slips, he owns up to it and tries to
correct the situation and grow from it.
5. Compassion- When he understands a situation, he has
compassion for those who are affected.
He is particularly compassionate with people that others tend to
overlook or become impatient with, those who are selfish or short-tempered with
others. He is able to look past that and
see the broken-ness within them.
6. Unselfishness- Always seeking the win-win in any
situation, he is willing to give up whats best for him and accept what will
make others the happiest
7. Grace- Okay
I give up here
he is not the most graceful
guy in the world, but hes big and warm and cozy and fun and reminds me of a
big bushel of sweet red apples!
8. Adaptable- He can be at home at a goofy party with a
bunch of beer drinking friends or in a Bible study with straight-laced old
folks. Hell find common ground with
9. Open-minded- Non-judgmental and loving of people, my
husband is only aggravated with those who are closed-minded and unfair to
9. Perceptive- He is not terrible perceptive, but is always
available and open to anyone who cares to tell him whats on their mind. I appreciate the fact, too, that hes interested. I love that he reads my diary and makes
little comments to know that hes been there.
What he lacks in perception he makes up for in nosiness and I love that
10. Caring- He lets me know that the sun rises and sets in
me. With his big arms and warm kisses and even warmer words and looks, he
certainly fills my life with his care.
11. Co-operative- He is extremely cooperative, even better,
he often lets ME be the boss of the social calendar and manage the household
How cooperative can you get!
12. Tactful- Well
tact may not be his strongest point LOL,
but hes fun and funny and knows how to say things so sweetly and kindly that
even if they arent the most diplomatically placed, they are well-intentioned.
13. Sociable- Wowwee
he is the MOST sociable guy and me,
being sort of shy, LOVE this about him.
When we go somewhere I just have to hang with him until I feel brave
enough to launch. When we got married, I
just hung on his arm and basked in the attention rays that bounced off of him. I couldnt take the direct hits too much
14. Empathic- He tries to be empathic and tries to
understand. Not being the most
imaginative person in the world, this is tough for him. He is caring and is there for me. He may not
be able to really understand what is going on, but he loves me and would walk
through hot coals to relieve my pain if that would help.
15. Resilient- He is definitely resilient. I couldnt stand to be with someone moody and
depressive like myself! Geez, that would be awful. This is a guy who awakens with a smile
(usually) and may be grumpy and cantankerous, but can be turned around into a ball of
16. Confident- He is humbly self-assured
hes not Mr.
Salesman confident, but he is sure of himself in a humble way just right for
17. Tenacious- Hmmm
Im not so sure Id say he was
tenacious but he moves forward as he has to to get the job done. He gets up every day, heads off to work, does
the job and supports his family. I can
count on him the way I count on the sun to rise.
18.Assertive- Yep, I ask him to take over when Im too
chicken to stand up for us This is NOT my strong point.
19. Reliable- (see tenacious LOL) Yes, he is reliable. I
love this about him.
20. Conscientious- He is a good man, a good family man and a
good man of God who sticks by his beliefs.
21. Punctual- Nope, almost never LOL
22. Careful- Sometimes he is especially with his
23. Willingness- Yes, he is always willing to do the things
I want to do and often willing to help me with tasks I have to get done. I love that about him.
24. Logical- Sometimes too logical
that can be helpful,
though, since I can be sometimes too emotional
25. Energetic- This is a wonderful quality in him and keeps
26. Creative- Well, he
may not be the most creative person
in the world, but better than that, he thinks I am LOL and I like that even
27. Methodical- Yes, he is definitely methodical and since I
am so NOT, I completely am in awe of him about that.
28. Analytical- We are both quite analytical
analytical with machines and I am with emotions, this helps us be better able
to communicate in all walks of life and makes for some WONDERFUL conversations.
29. Ambitious- Just ambitious enough so that we live okay,
but not so much that he isnt a wonderful family man. I always feel like we are his first priority.
30. Capacity to take risks- Thank God I dont have to worry
that hes crazy, but he certainly isnt all afraid to go out and do stuff.
31. Intelligent- Hes amazing when it comes to all that
computer jazz and technical stuff! And incredibly patient with it too!
32. Memory- He has an unbelievable memory when it comes to
trivia and computers not so good on remembering my work schedule or little
calendar type stuff. Hes cool about
remember what I want for presents though
33. Mature- Just the right mix of dad/lover/teen/little boy
to be a wonderful partner
***DOESNT FIT INTO A PARTICULAR CATEGORY***
34. His friends- He has so many people who love him and
flock to his bi-annual barbeque parties.
He reaches out and touches many folks who think the world of him. I am proud to be his wife.
35. His family- In spite of his crazy family (extended and
immediate), he remains normal and wonderful
36. His Car- He agrees to drive the most embarrassing
looking vehicle and does it with good humor and grace
37. His smile is big and ruddy and warm
38. He is generous and open-hearted
39. He is very open-minded when it comes to my interests in
life but I think my writing is not the most interesting in the world to him,
nevertheless hell sometimes put up with it.
40. He can never tell when I am lying. Thats both good and
terrible for me because I can get away with lying but how could I possibly do
that to one so trusting and innocent? No, the few times I have tried, it just
hasnt worked Ive felt like complete dirt better to just fess up. I cant stand the awareness that I have
betrayed someone so open to me.
41. Two words: Embracing Warmth.