I’m a Pharisee

But along with all the joy and power, in my ponderings, God has shown
me how very like a Pharisee I am. If you have looked in the paper at
all you are aware of the guy who shot the judge in Atlanta then escaped
and took that woman hostage only to release her and eventually turn
himself in.

Now, I don’t know much about it to tell you the
truth. I have an RSS feed-reader and I read lots of headlines to keep
up with the news, but I honestly don’t read many articles. I don’t even
remember the guy’s name or the women’s name. What I do remember is
hearing that she had read Purpose Driven Life and had talked to the guy
about God and faith, etc. and somehow the shooter had decided to let
her go because she told him she had to go see her little girl in some
play or something.

My local radio personality mentioned
something about being suspicious of the whole thing. He said the guy
took her hostage because she was out getting a pack of cigarettes or
something to that effect. I also heard that, since the ordeal, Rick
Warren (author of Purpose Driven Life) had called this woman every day
to pray with her and talk to her. So, I took all of these little bits
of information in, and I glanced at her picture, and I made some
assumptions.

You have, above, honestly and truly, all I really
know about this woman and about what happened. And I ended up with some
negative impressions about this woman, likely due to the stuff the
radio guy said and just because of the way the woman looks in the
picture and the fact she smokes (as if I didn’t smoke from age 16-34 –
like a chimney).

Standing in the checkout line at the store
yesterday, I saw People Magazine there with this woman’s picture on it.
I thought to myself, “Oh brother… She’s getting her fifteen minutes,
isn’t she… I’m so sure she’s giving out God’s word… she looks cheap and
she smokes, like God would use her…” and then I was caught up short.
“What are you THINKING!!! You Pharisee!!! Who are YOU to be making
these judgments? Who do you THINK God uses? Who did Jesus eat dinner
with? And who, exactly do you think YOU are? YOU were a smoker? YOU
were an adulterous? Just because you have cleaned up a little bit do
you think you’re any more useful than HER? As a matter of fact, maybe
you’re just a little LESS useful because now you’re judgmental and then
you might have been more open to anybody!” I felt like I had been
punched in the stomach. Not a bad punch because God never gives you a
bad punch. He makes you aware. He makes you not ashamed, but humble,
embarrassed, self-aware, and VERY repentant. And that’s how I felt.

I
bought the People Magazine and I intend to read about her and find out
more. I am glad God used her and I pray that He takes this
“Pharisitical” edge away from me. He needs to keep my inner eye open to
myself. NEVER EVER may I think I am better, more Holy, more usable than
anyone else or judge anyone else’s usability. What a horrible thing to
do!

I just pray that I might stay simple, love God and Jesus,
and definitely love my fellow human beings (no matter who they are or
how they are) just as Jesus loved them. He demonstrated it so well when
He supped with tax-collectors and prostitutes. (And I can just picture
Him sitting back and laughing, talking, teaching – meeting their eyes
with His and not letting them constantly be casting their glances down.
*Sigh* I wait for the moment I can sit at His feet and worship Him that
way too.)