Team work is not really something for me – although I wrote in my curriculum that I manage it very well, I end up working alone, doing the job of everybody while they do nothing. But I will not dwell in grudge about it. I am narcissistic enough to be in good company only if on my own. The people I have around me do not appreciate me, apart from Axl, the only friend in real life I really have. He is the only person I know I would take out for dinner.
I had contact to a couple of women on the dating site, but as soon as I show my pictures they stop writing – I must look absolutely ugly. I even chose a picture on which I have the impression of being quite pretty. Anyway, nothing and nobody compares to Professor Cristina. I tried to forget her a long time ago, unsuccessfully. She is my only strength and when I am feeling down, I try to picture her smile in my mind, and I forget all the troubles, the anxiety, the insults I get every single day. She is the kind of woman I am looking for. She is the icon of what I look for in a woman. A summary of perfection without being perfect.
I am an orphan, even if I have parents. Emotionally, I do not have the love of parents caring for me. Now I can exist without it, I am an adult, but I there was a time in which I was a child, needing affection and protection. I am accustomed to doing things on my own, I am accustomed to traveling alone. There are not many people I would share my journey with. Apart from my demons, I would share my way only with Axl as a friend or with Professor Cristina as a partner. But sometimes I think that I could barely touch that woman, because she is so immacolate and pure that I could never damage her with my feelings.
Whatever happens… Cristina, be aware that nothing compares to you.