Two sided

I feel like my head is constantly split between logical and emotional thinking, with the logical usually being the dominant trait.  I can portray either side fluidly with friends. I can be the “Man, that sucks, I’m sorry you are going through that” friend or the “Well, rules are rules. At least you still have a job” friend. I typically see both sides of conflicts and try to help my friends see the same, when necessary.

So, back to in my head. Logical vs. emotional. Today it was confirmed that we have mandatory training on a day I requested off months ago. Not only is it mandatory, but it is on a Friday, where we typically get off at noon, but that day we are required to be there for 6-8 hours.

Logically: I get it. We have new software because our current software is no longer being updated and doesn’t support newer Windows systems. I get that we need to be trained.

Emotionally: Seriously? The ONE day I wanted off. The HALF day at that. For what, you ask? For Astros home opener. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, but here’s the thing. I get 2 weeks of vacation a year. I usually get paid for more than 5 unused vacation days each year. I’ve missed holidays with my family because we aren’t allowed to take days off in December. I was at work while my mom was in the hospital after a heart attack and before heart surgery. I never call in sick. I never even step away to take personal phone calls.

Logically: I can’t blame my boss. He was given certain days to schedule this training.  I can’t blame the company (for the 6-8 hours) because that is their policy. I stand for policies because I have to uphold policies every day to make things make sense. It is just a shitty coincidence. Also, I can still go to the game, it doesn’t start until 7.

Emotionally: I already know this software! I used it at a previous office. I need a refresher course, not a full 5 day, 6-8 hours a day. I didn’t even need that much training when I first used the software. Also, I will miss ALL the opening day ceremonies and festivities… AGAIN.

So anyway. I’m here in my pajamas, in bed, drinking champagne in the late afternoon. Knowing that I can’t change things. Knowing it just sucks. But, here I am. Still living. I need to stop being a spoiled brat.

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February 2, 2019

I have to share this with you because of your post. Last week I walked away from the highest paying hospital in Philadelphia because of these same reasons. Being in the medical field I understand that I would work most biggie there but the amount of sanity and time I was giving to work compared to what I was giving my family and myself was ridiculous. I literally just quit, revamped my resume and started looking again. I needed to be happy not super wealthy. 🙂