Here’s the thing about all the things.

No one cares about women and their maternity leave. They don’t care about their health when they go back to work too soon and leave their baby. They don’t care about telling them that they should be induced for convenience. That formula is bad or that you shouldn’t pump so much at your job. Stop coddling your kid and they better be sleeping through the night. Don’t nurse him to sleep. Don’t let him cry. Do let him cry. If you are doing one thing it is wrong. If you’re doing the other thing, it’s wrong.

Babies die in daycare, shares stay at home moms. Oh, you made your own baby food and have cloth diapers? Literally gag me. I’m in the middle of all of that. I make my own foods sometimes and sometimes I don’t. I 100% don’t want to do cloth diapers because I don’t need his poop in my washer. I’m ruining the environment with my disposable diapers. Ok.

I can’t let students in at lunch to make stuff up because I’m pumping. My fault and my problem. My planning period…the Sped teachers try to come in and ask me why their student is missing everything (because they’re lazy) and my door is locked because I’m pumping. I leave immediately when the kids are out. I didn’t have time to make a Thanksgiving dish for my dumb school because I’m hanging out with my baby and what do I do at lunch anyway? Pump.

My priorities are 180 degrees different than before my boy.

I want to be at home with my child, living my life one minute at a time in my pajamas or going to the store. But that isn’t going to get me retirement.

My son has probably been healthy two weeks out of the time I have been taking him to daycare and I want to kill everyone who lets their kids go to daycare sick. I hate daycare. They keep him alive. I’m guessing that’s about all they do. I am looking for a nanny, but that’s also very hard in a place where you don’t know anyone. No one cares. Everyone sort of just leaves you be after you have a kid. They care in the beginning or during your pregnancy and then it’s just whatever.

You’re on your own. More so…when you don’t live around others. That’s all ok. It’s fine. I just don’t think I’m going to work much longer. And 100% will take time off when I have a second kid. I’m not paying my salary in daycare fees for two.

I’m pumping while I write this. I’m not talking to my staff members at lunch. I have to do other things.

I guess I could just stop giving him milk and do formula. That doesn’t sound like what I personally want to d0 at this month. I’m going to do my best to do a year. And probably just finish off until the summer and hopefully by the time I start the new school year, he is all about the foods and not the boobs.

I want to get him vaccinated, but also watching him scream makes me want to never get him vaccinated. I never want him to feel a sad/scared/upset emotion ever in his life.

This stuff is hard.

But I really like it and wish I would have done this sooner. This kid having stuff.