Oregon.

When we visit Bend, it feels like we belong here and that we should pick up our life where it left off. Why did I ever move? Oh. Well one reason was I worked at the worst school, with the worst people. That started it. I’ve never worked anywhere that made me feel like absolute trash before. Picture working with some of the hardest students. Some had terrible parents, some parents died of drugs or mental illness, leaving the kids with one unstable parent or grandparents. Some students brought drugs to school and some students decided to shank one another. I can deal with all of that. I can help those students. But. If you then put into the mix someone who couldn’t handle me being successful and then add some administration that think this girl walks on water and thinks everything I do is wrong, then you have a mix of a shit show. Also, add a dash of douche, making me work with an unprofessional coach who pretends to be a teacher. He was disgusting and I let the admin know about him. They added to my observation that I couldn’t get along with my colleagues. That was hilarious given I was really close to two of them and I was not close to the teacher who is now not allowed to work with kids because he allegedly had a relationship with students and I was actually subpoenaed, forced to testify…but his lawyer walked out and everything is pushed back. I don’t even have anything to say about it anymore, so I don’t know how I could even be of help. As a character witness, I could say he’s a piece of actual shit. I put everything into that year. I worried about those kids all the time. All I was given was the principal and vice principal coming in and saying unhelpful things. Like the time a student dropped paper and I didn’t make a big deal about it. I was supposed to walk over to him and tell him it was okay, instead of just going on with my lesson since I didn’t want to embarrass him. Or the time I gave all of my headbands to the girl who lost her mother to anorexia and she wasn’t always nice because she had a hard life and she ripped up her AVID form and instead of blaming her behaviors on her own situations, the vice principal asked me what I did to her to make her do that. Okay. I’ve never cried in front of admin before (except for in Prineville when I was leaving and didn’t want to leave) and so I felt the most misunderstood that I have ever felt in my life at that school.

That’s all. So Bend reminds me of that.

But I love it. I love everything about it. And we might have a chance to come back. But I don’t want Dustin to feel like it’s all on his hands. It sort of is though. It’s his job that would take us here and I would just fall back into place at my old school, hopefully. I will say I just spoke with the rudest Oregon licensure woman I have ever had to deal with, but that’s okay. Oregon has always been terrible when dealing with license questions.

Anyway. That’s really all. I like Oregon a lot…and I wouldn’t mind being back. The end.