getting pregnant again?

I don’t want to have another child but I am getting my IUD taken out because of side effects. Simply, it is making my vagina get chronic infections that keep coming back for a year now and I haven’t changed anything except the fact that I have an IUD. I never had any problem in my vagina before my IUD.  I read that it can rust up inside of you under the right conditions and my theory is that I got an infection and it changed the PH of my vagina to the point that let the copper rust, now the rust in the copper is coming out and is changing the PH of my vagina. Something is not right and I know it, I need to get it taken out so I can get myself back to normal.

Anyways the problem is that I don’t want to get on hormones, I have always been afraid of them and they cause me to not want to fuck. I can’t live a life where I am less horny because then it will be even harder for me to cum. So what is my plan? Well Mitchell does keep saying he wants a kid, like even right now. He thinks he’s ready which I think is crazy! He’s never had a kid but he handles mine sometimes and he also takes care of the dog. I think he might be ready mentally but we are not ready financially. He did say he would work more to support the baby and I do believe him. I believe he would be a good dad, I wish he would have been the dad to my first child but the problem is….I really just don’t want to have another child. I thought maybe just not right now, because if he really wants a child of his own and I can see some pros of having another child, maybe I can just wait until I feel more ready. But he brought up a valid point. If I have another child right now I will be 46 when my child is 18. Thats old ugh. I was excited that I would still be young when kendrah is 18 but the longer I wait the older I will be. Part of me is like fuck it, I dont want to have another child ever again. I want to travel and have time together and I just dont like being with kids 24/7, I also dont think I’m an amazing mom, so why put a child through that. But he wants a child. And if I’m going to have another child shouldnt I then just get it over with now lmaoo.

I thought it was the perfect time to talk about this because I am getting my IUD removed next week and the chance increases greatly that I could get pregnant with another child. I need to think of the pros and cons but mostly I think that my plan is to take the IUD out to see if my vaginal health will regulate. If it does, I might replace the IUD with a new one once it gets better (because I was fine for 2-3 years). Or I will just use the pull out method until I get pregnant with my second child. If I get pregnant, after I have my second child I will definitely be getting my tubes tied so that I can no longer have children and not have to worry about it.

free time
time as a couple
changes in my body (pelvic floor, back)
changes in my appearance (stomach, boobs)
postpartum depression risk

raise a child with mitchell
a second child in my family to take care of me when i’m older
do fun stuff with kids longer
watch another child grow and develop

let mitchell know that i want to get my tubes tied and if he really wants a second child I am willing to do it if he fixes these issues for me:
1. find someone that will take the child if we want to travel together, his mom?
2.get our own 2 bedroom apartment
3. get a job to support us
4. agree to do most of the work with the kid when we are together, like soothing it when it cries, even if he has worked all day and if we split up, take primary custody
5. Make sure the child will be in daycare during the day


Even with all of this the thought of getting pregnant again makes me anxious. I don’t really want another baby and the more I think about waiting the more i think i might not even want to have another baby again. I dont want to have a baby and resent them or be angry at mitchell that he made me do it. I wonder if i asked the doctor about tying my tubes if she would do it for me. I am really going to ask when i go in.

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