Entry 793: Parent Complaints

I’ve written about my dad before. Not much, not often, but I have written about him before.

He was not a nice man when I was growing up. I have no scars on my body from him, but he was not a nice man. 

I’m worried that I will be like him when I have Tiny Humans. I suppose being worried that I will be like him will make me actively try not to be. 

He is in my life, and that is that. He is one of my Cub Leaders. He is still with my mum. He is in my life.

My wife and I have realised that when we have Tiny Humans, my parents will not be an option for child care. I cannot trust my dad.

I was part of the generation where it was still okay to physically punish a child. I cannot trust my dad. When he is angry, he is not a nice man.

I got a message from my mum on WhatsApp. 

[01/10, 15:27] Mum: [Brother & his gf] are inviting us all to theirs for Christmas day. Do you have any plans for the long holiday period as looking at Christmas food to order

[01/10, 15:29] Me: I’m working Christmas day, and I think we’re at [in-laws] this year. Is [Grandmother] going to be there too? Because we’ve invited you all round for Christmas before and you’ve said no because of [Grandmother]…

[01/10, 15:32] Mum: I don’t think [Grandmother] would be well enough this year even if home allow their residents out this year. Boris stopped a lot of mingling last year otherwise [Grandmother] would have come to ours. [Brother] was on oncall as well so he would have been on his own.

[01/10, 15:36] Me: Thats fair enough. But I think [Wife] is going down to her parents Christmas eve with Bandit and I’m going down after my shift Christmas day

[01/10, 15:38] Mum: OK no worries. How long are you at the [in-laws]?

[01/10, 15:40] Me: I’m not sure, either the Sunday or the Monday since it’s a Bank Holiday

[01/10, 15:42] Mum: So the Tuesday is this year too. Long holidays. Let us know if you want to come for any day

[01/10, 15:43] Me: I’m down to be in work on the Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday but things may change because I’m on flexi and we’re still doing our third man flexi shifts at home because of covid

[01/10, 15:45] Mum: OK I finish on the Tuesday before until 2nd Jan the way the holidays and my nwd work out.

  1. My brother and his gf haven’t even bought the house yet.
  2. My wife and I have been inviting them for Christmas for the 8 years we have no lived at home for, they have always refused because of my mum’s mum.
  3. Last year, yes we could only meet up for the one day, but it had to be at my parents.
  4. Last year, yes, my brother was on call, but why couldn’t he have been on call at our house? What’s the difference?
  5. Is my mum buying the Christmas food for my brother and his gf? Are they not cooking?
  6. My grandmother has not been well for a very long time. As long as my wife had been in the picture, my grandmother has said she’s not going to make it to Christmas, and here we are, 9 years later.
  7. My grandmother doesn’t know who I am. She thinks my wife is me. 
  8. I’m not sure I trust them around Bandit. To not give him food from the table or to pick up the dog biscuits from the other dog.

Am I right to be annoyed here? My wife and I alternate who we spend Christmas with each year. My in-laws are incredible people. Everything we’ve told them about with Bandit, they have followed to the T. I love them.



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October 5, 2021

I hope everything works out okay, I think you have the right to be annoyed. My dad is a good one. It’s my mother (birth mum) that sucks… running away from her problems and all that shit.