There is a chill in my bones that I can’t quite seem to shake.
My intrusive thoughts are taking up more space in my head than they should. No longer whispers of smoke or trees zipping by like I’m riding a train.
No, these are more brick walls in front of my eyes with no wiggle room between my nose and the rough texture. These are like a parents hands around my wrists making sure I don’t wander too far. They follow me like my shadow in the evening sun. I cannot escape them.
I feel like I’m breathing water, drowning slowly in my own mind. It is unpleasant and frustrating that no one can see the water around my nose and mouth, that no one can feel the water in my lungs. The outside world is muffled as if I’m behind a thick pane of glass. I can see people talking, I can hear sound but it’s all trumpets.