My story is too long. Trust me when I say you don’t want to hear the whole thing all at once. Just little tid bits here and there, at least until we get to know each other a little better. These entries are important, because you need to understand where I’m coming from.
I’ll start with the important facts. Really I’ll just come right out and introduce the elephant in the room.
Here are the excuses for the main problem in my life:
I was raised in the church
My parents divorced at a young age, well young enough that my dad wasn’t there for what I call the important part
I wasn’t any good at sports when I was younger
As a result of my parents splitting, my main influence in my home was my mother and my older sister.
Ergo, I’m a very feminine person.
In middle school I was teased constantly for being "gay." I don’t think I even knew what the Hell that was, so I don’t know when exactly this became a problem in my life.
It IS a problem in my situation -again I fear an audience member reading this and criticizing me for calling it a problem- but because of my church up bringing it has become a struggle for me personally. I desire a relationship, a socially acceptable relationship to my friends and family and obviously these internal desires pose a problem.
The argument of if it’s a choice or if your born with it? It’s sin. We’re all born into sin. Satan just found a particular weakness and has created a strong foot hold on me.
So there is the elephant. Take what you will from this, just know that it’s an important fact to know about me upon reading my future entries. As to better understand the battles that go on in my mind from day to day.