A trip to the shop, anxiety point of view (light hearted)

I listened only partially to the rambling lady about the terrible traffic in the country as I stood, recognising each cars colour and model as a way to not loose my composure. I stood at the same traffic lights everyday and yet it still make me feel sick as I watch people pass and cars zoom. It was a busy area and I couldn’t avoid it. I nodded and agreed with the lady who seemed angry and based on her French accent perhaps wasn’t familiar with the British roads. She had white hair, and pale skin with rosey cheeks that complimented her pretty pink lips. She wore a sparkly brooch of bird, I think. She looked as though she’d like a fine wine and a cheese board would really tickle her fancy. Im more of a redbull and cheese string kind of girl. Her rambling stressed me a little but her appearance brought me joy. She simply looked elegant. I remembered how I left the house, looking like a troll doll with a bat stuck in her hair. I’m twenty six, a mother of two and I have multiple mental health conditions. Every time I go outside my front door is challenging, but meeting people like the angry French lady reminds me that going outside can be wonderful too. After I crossed the now still road and felt the pressure to reach the end of the road before the beeping of the traffic lights stopped, I headed to the shop just across the road from home. I rarely went out alone. After bumping into two old school friends a talkative neighbour and the local friendly drunk guy, I questioned why I hadn’t taken my head phones. I Returned home thinking “not doing that again.” I bought milk instead of bread and forgot the cream because I couldn’t concentrate in the shop. I kept playing my conversations over with people id bumped into, wondering if I had said something crazy or if I behaved somewhat normally for once. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I just really didn’t want a repeat of that time I spoke to a guy about trees for a solid ten minutes starting with “I like trees”. I mean come on! Anxiety is a funny things,  it’s like having a embarrassing second brain that only thinks of weird stupid things to say. Should see me at funeral. Ah I’m joking, I’m a delight.



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