Down and Wasted

Hi, my name is Jam 30 yrs old HIV poz, I don’t know how or where to start sharing my experiences, but, let me bring you back in 2015 when I meet this guy named Jason. I am an active user of gay dating app Grindr. I have chatted and meet random guys from the app only for sex just for fun. Well I guess already meet all types of gays, name it! from local to foreign visiting gays, ages 16- 55 lol.

It was 2015 when I meet Jason, gym buff, average looking guy, at his age he is 10yrs younger looking. He is 38 during that time. We’re both versa and into poppers thing. We both love and enjoyed our first sex (Bare). We did it again and again and again…Most of the time we exchange txt messages, chatting with each other for short, special friendship was growing. I visit him always in his condo unit whenever his free. There comes the time when we discuss about our health status, asking each other, when was last HIV Test etc. regarding STDs topics. He encourage me to undergo a test. With that thing, we agreed to update each other. So yeah, I did visit HIV Hub for a test and yes I am an HIV POSITIVE. I was just speechless during that moment, and so empty, a felling I have never felt before. I was in a bus on my way back home while my eyes are shading with tears, I texted Jason regarding my result. I never blame anyone about it anyway. It was my actions that puts me into that situation. Jason have always kind to me, he then opened up that he is also an HIV Poz. He have guided me in the hardest road where I am in, my fear was gone because of his guidance. From then on our friendship became stronger, to the point wherein I already in love with him, we go out for a date etc. a relationship with no label (that’s what other people called it).

As time goes by we continue our Sexcapade, we tried slam methamphetamine together, and yes we love rush of it,and it drives us into different level of sex, wild at its wildest. My time with Jason and the activity that we’re doing was my comfort zone to escape and hide the pain I feel from within. we did a lot of experiment in sex, like 3some,4some or even more invites. We continue that until he have introduced me with one of his invites named James.

James was a bit chubby built guy, I may say a bit above average looking guy. well, Jason seems to liking him. Jason treated James differently more special than the way he treated me. there’s a part of me that hurts, yeah I was jealous. Jason even wanted more time with James, that is why he want’s James to stay after our Partee. But in my surprise James secretly get number without Jason’s knowledge, he said, he wanted to get to know me more, so yeah I give him my number even if it’s against my well because for me it’s unfair for Jason part. I did that because of the jealousy I felt that time.

From then James always calls me, check me out if how I am, what I’m doing, when will I be free, how my stuff etc. for short Jame was courting. In just a short time me and James have this relationship without Jason’s idea. We meet for a date, Motel, etc. just like other couples and because James was also in my age level, he’s so sweet to me. ( I will continue)

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September 12, 2020

I know that had to be quite a shocked yo fi d out you have aids.  I couldnt even begin to feel the pain that you were feeling that day. All I can begin to compare it to is the day I found out I had hsv1 vaginally.  I was beyond crushed and stay in bed for a week in tears. Over 13 years later and I still haven’t began to date. I gave it up that day. I dont even know how to tell another human begin. Sounds like you are lucky to have the people you do in your life even with your status. Dont take that for granted.

September 12, 2020

Actually, now I no longer know who I am,,,

September 12, 2020

Random reader here. Have you ever heard of this?,their%20viral%20load%20stays%20undetectable.