One hour in between.

Just came from work on my break because I have to tell you what I just got over.

A girl, who I guess in some circumstances could be pretty, but who is very tall and above me (in position) told me basically that I was un-good-looking, and it came out of nowhere because I made a joke, not even sarcastic, not even with much wit, and she thought that I wanted her to want me, and I made jokes because she wanted others and not me, specifically.

Anyway, it caught me totally off guard I didn’t really know how to feel, because I don’t want her, and I realize (to most) I am un-good-looking, and I’m not popular, and I’m not what you want. But you had to say it like that. As if you’re What I Need.

Anyway, I got home kind of depressed, (and she really meant it by the way, she really thinks it) and then I saw myself in a mirror, with my new contacts, and I think I’m good-looking, or at least not un. And I said “well at least I look okay today, or else I could be doing a lot worse right now.” because things like that effect me, something where someone tells me they’re better than me. ‘Cause I’ll believe it, very easily.

So here I am on my break, and I hope she’s happy. No more jokes towards her anymore. No more smiles.