And again.

Yesterday, he told me that we can’t talk anymore. And around 3am today, I sent him a short SMS because I’m crazy and I really do miss him. And in the morning, I woke up with a message from him in Whatsapp. Yeah, he unblocked me again. He just told me to stop messaging his phone, it’s a cost for me and he wants to fix things with his fiance. But really, I didn’t mind the cost. I sent the SMS even though I didn’t know if I have enough prepaid balance left. I did it because I can’t go back to sleep with thoughts in my head.  He also texted me that we can’t talk anymore and asking me to understand.

I totally understood everything. But I hope he would also understand that it will take time for me to accept it. And I swear, I’m trying very hard not to text him. Today, that was only one text. I did not reply to his messages in Whatsapp.  Around 8AM in PH time, he called and the crazy me answered.

He called just to tell me that we can’t talk anymore. He just told me what he texted me. And some other stuff he did to fix his relationship. I did not say much anyway. It was pointless. I don’t know what he wants to hear from me. I just listened to everything he said. And before the call ended, he told me to just live my life and not text him anymore at least until he fixed everything. I said okay. He said I could text him after a couple of days, or after a week maybe.

But I don’t plan on texting him even after a week. When I feel the urge to text him, I just stare blankly on his last three messages and it feels good that I wasn’t the one who sent the last messages.  That I wasn’t the one who made the last call. I want it to remain that way.

 

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September 1, 2018

Sounds like your are his back up plan that he is stringing you along for the future. As hard as it is you need to make it as he is dead to you BLOCK him. Don’t give in to your urges make it like a game have him be the loser if he contact you somehow ignore them and don’t reply. Good Luck and All The Best.

September 1, 2018

@sweetie04 I swear I am trying to. I still can’t myself block him right away. A few more days maybe until I get used to his number being there and not having contact with him. I have seen that he changed his profile picture of that with his girl. I stare at it and thought if everything’s okay with him, although it’s already none of my business.

September 5, 2018

He is playing the WORST game with you. I’m sorry to be blunt, but he is so obviously afraid to completely cut you off, so he asks you to stop messaging him and then dangles the carrot (with the comment “I could text him after a couple of days”). He knows how to do this, and he will KEEP doing it, until you dig down deep (deeper than that) and block him, completely and forever. Do NOT give up your strength, your power, for this man. He isn’t making the effort, so you shouldn’t either.

(I know, it’s hard. I’ve been there. I’m just trying to give you courage and a pep talk.)

September 5, 2018

@wayward_woman Thanks! Yes, it is hard. Actually, I tried it block him but then I just unblocked him after a few hours. Anyway, I feel better now. And little by little I have come to accept it, he’ll soon be gone from my life and will just stay as a memory for the role he had to play. 🙂

September 5, 2018

@justanotherrandomgirl  I try to turn things like this into learning experiences – after the hurt is gone – so I don’t make the same choices the next time.  I hope you’re able to do that, too. You deserves TONS better than he could offer you.  Believe me, sweetie, you deserve the sun, the moon *and* the stars. 💙