Happy Birthday 5/16/1954

Well… 

 

Happy Birthday.

 

A year ago, I sat here on your birthday with a broken heart, so broken that I did not believe the sun was ever gonna shine on me again. 

 

The nights I laid awake crying for you and the terrifying bewilderment I felt when you just abandoned me, the girl you loved for 15 long years, were too plentiful to count. The tears I cried, fearful you would die alone or with someone who didn’t love you, were endless it seemed. 

 

And then I let you go. Because you didn’t love me enough to stop hurting me or yourself, and you let the woman you replaced me with hurl insults and deny me access to you. She was cruel and so was your silence and abrupt departure. 

 

But you didn’t break me. You did just the opposite. You crippled me emotionally to the point where I had nobody to count on but myself.

 

You forced me to learn to love myself and to set boundaries that I will no longer let anyone cross. You forced me to be the strong woman I am today.

 

So here is my gift to you, Roger. 

 

I forgive you for hurting me. I forgive you for trampling me to death in your run for freedom. 

 

Now, I am willing to bet, you are living in your own kind of Hell. A new but old Hell. One you can’t seem to break free of. And I feel sorry for you.

 

As of today, I feel way more sorry for you than I do myself.

 

The fact is, you gave me a lot of care over the years we were together and I had a very deep love for you, so deep that I am forgiving of you and only want what is best for you. 

 

Forgiveness is something only love can foster. 

 

Happy Birthday, Baby. 

 

I hope joy finds you. 

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