Burdens All Around

It’s probably not as big of a deal as it feels.

I was already feeling stress and apprehension having to ask you for help.  I don’t like accepting your help because I don’t understand where it comes from.  Gifts feel unclear.  Like pushed forward efforts.

So when I asked you if you could take the dog out while I was gone, it felt like the mildest of the requests I wanted to make.   I was going to ask for a ride to the airport.

And to be met with a lackluster no.  A wishy-washy response that simultaneously felt undecided and made me back peddle, felt like an affirmation that I cannot grow to need you.  I cannot turn to you for help.  I cannot rely on your support.

I understand that you were disappointed to have your routine jumbled.  And your routine has been a sore spot lately.

Am I ever ok being inconvenient?


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July 17, 2019

To me, asking someone to take the dog out is a small request. It’s a little bit ridiculous if your significant other made a fuss about it. I’m not sure what’s going on in his life, but I’d be pretty upset, if I asked my boyfriend to do a small favor like that for me, and he said no.