The long road to home

As I sat there at the dining room table working, listening to my mother finally doing her PT exercises and moving around with her walker, and hearing my dad swear from the bathroom (the seal broke on the toilet, after he blamed my mother for plugging it up) I couldn’t help but think it’s never a normal for me, I can’t just be with my parents without some sort of BS going on

Then of course, perhaps this IS the normal…that there’s always going to be something in my life, a car issue, an illness, job loss, etc. that is going to challenge me.  I can say this though, I am still standing, regardless of what the universe decided to throw at me.  Car crap, getting fired (and winning a settlement because of that), cancer, my mother’s surgeries and illnesses, the list goes on….

I know that 10 years ago, I would have been a quivering heap on the floor, in the fetal position, just unglued by this recent state of affairs.  I know that doing meditation, being mindful, practicing Kundalini, all have helped me keep centered, grounded and a lot less in my head and in control of the situation.

I did have two moments of freak out and full on ugly crying on Saturday. I felt so helpless sitting out there in the middle of nowhere, essentially the desert, in the climbing heat, my poor pup just panting away. I let myself just succumb to the waves of emotions; the fear, the anger, all the feels in this situation.

Because Nick at Kia got me the dealer rate for the car, I drove home in a fancy Grand Cherokee that I will definitely miss when I drop it off Saturday.  When I got home, I raced around to get settled, then threw my bike into the back of the car and dashed over to get it fixed up.  My plan is to ride my bike to the train station every day, and that’s about 6 miles each way.  Nothing really when you consider I have gone about 90 miles in one day and I rode it to Los Angeles from SF.  Still it’s a major major inconvenience, but silver lining is that I wanted, more like needed, to get on my bike again, and riding 12 miles a day will definitely help in the weight/toning department

Found out that my car insurance won’t cover the damage.  Still in limbo waiting to hear back from Kia Warranty.  Still in shock that this happened to me

They say things happen for a reason, sure would like to know what that reason is this time

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