dont stand so close to me

i have been disturbed to my core…

Friday last i entered my local hospital because my chest and my arm hurt terribly…

before i could get to the check in desk 3 officers stopped me and began a litany about how i need to have a mask on and so forth…

i responded “i think i’m having a heart attack” and headed for the desk…

3 steps and they were tackling me, cuffing me and shrieking about how i was resisting arrest…

i was resisting a heart attack…

the captain of the three picked me up and sat me down rather rudely in a chair and began a tyrannical monologue about how my politics had nothing to do with the rules in place…

“What does politics have to do with my heart giving out?”

2 nurses stood watching the whole affair…

i looked at them and asked if they could get a doctor out to see me, i was not feeling well…

one of the officers told me that if i had anything to say i was to direct my remarks to them…

i looked him in the eye and screamed “I’m having a fucking heart attack you ass hat i need a doctor”…

after that i am unclear what went on because i blacked out…

i woke up in a hospital room with wires and hoses poking out of me and the familiar beeps and whirring of hospital machinery…

i found the call button and pressed it…

a nurse walked in along with the officers and she explained to me that i had indeed had a mild heart attack and would be in the hospital for the night…

i ask her why the police were there, had i done something when i passed out?

the captain of the the three spoke:

Sir, i would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday and on behalf of my fellow officers hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive us.

my response:

until yesterday, i had a deep respect for the police, you people have the balls to do a job no one else wants to do. your rant about politics and my feeling as though the rules did not apply to me was about the most ignorant thing i had ever heard anyone speak. i know you ran my license and found not even a parking ticket and that i follow the rules for 55 years. I can guarantee that if i were a black man none of what happened yesterday would have happened and that is a shame.

i am a minister and a widower and in the course of eleven months i have lost every human being i ever loved. the lesser officers should take themselves to church and ask god for the forgiveness they seek. it is not my place to do so.

but you captain, i will remember you in particular. you see, you were the one who was charged with protecting and serving the public. i am the public and you failed to protect and serve me in the most grievous manner of all because YOU were given the role of leadership. yours was the task to set the bar for your underlings and you set it rather low.

you should leave the room now and take with you the lesson you should have learned by all this, WE the people…

they turned to go and the captain turned and said he was sorry once again…

i told him to fuck himself…

a heart catheter and stint later i am home with my hershal laying in bed and drifting in and out of a medically induced naptime, my mind bent on the police captain and his hollow platitudes…

the destruction of the united states is here…

the New Normal is the open harassment and belittling of white citizens in the name of equality…

i will never be able to trust an officer of the law again…

i have discovered how their masters program them and i fear for this town and this nation…

my politics are simple, i am a conservative…

i can do more with less and i wish only to be left alone…

my only liberal streak is for my bosty hershal…

there is nothing i would not do to keep him safe and warm and fed, he is my son…

but that low down cop…

i will remember him…