my year ahead

January first anniversary of her death…

February 3rd anniversary of Jaspers death…

March Dads death…

april relief..

may her birthday…

june her fathers death…

july relief…

august relief..

september my mothers death, my son Lutors death, her mothers death 3 days before her birthday…

october i will be 56…

november thanksgiving alone 2nd year

December christmas alone 2nd year, new years eve alone 2nd year…

please dont tell me to have a good day…

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November 10, 2020

You know how counting blessings is supposed to help lift you up?  Counting wounds can do the opposite.

November 11, 2020

@oniongirl Exactly what I was thinking!

Sometimes it’s hard to want to look for the good in life, but it sure does make it a lot less painful when you do. Everybody has light and shadow within and it’s okay and necessary to experience both, but there has to be balance.

November 10, 2020

I have a stupid question for you….Out of all these bad things is there not some really good memories?

November 11, 2020

I feel like I’m in a maelstrom…

the darkness is drowning me…

I set on the event horizon and wait for the tipping point to raise me up or finish me off…

November 22, 2020

I just read this. I see it was written a couple weeks ago. You have experienced a lot of loss and each one will have it’s own impact on you as you know. There is no time line and no right or wrong way of working through grief and loss. Staying connected can help and we can all post things that have helped us through our own but the bottom line is that it is your personal journey. I’ve learned the hard way not to try to stuff it. Distractions are good to a point. Finding resolve I’d say is a main goal, I have to share with you the book Sacred Shadow, Sacred Ground: A Vietnam War Widow’s Journey Through Unresolved Grief. I am thankful there are more tools available in todays world that can help you get through the process but it is a process. I am so sorry for your loses. Be easy on yourself.  I’ll remember to keep you in my prayers.