no poetry can hide me

today was a strange day…

the sky and the air the feel of the day on my skin took me back to 1979…

i was on my way back from new york with my cousin…

he was in his 40’s and i was only 14 years old…

he lied to my parents and said we were going on a week long fishing trip in michigan when in fact we had gone to see the sex pistols…

it was my first concert…

my ears rang as we drove back in his beat up ford van…

i looked into the sky and saw the clouds in regiment marching across the pale and i marveled at how they could be in such perfect formation as they went along their affairs…

i fell asleep watching them…

it was the last day i was truly happy…

i drove thru town listening to the radio as songs from long ago wrapped around me…

then our song came on, and the wind got colder and something wet and sharp walked across my cheek…

i felt the need to hurry home to my safety net, my haven so that i could pen this diatribe before i fall off to sleep…

oh my heart breaks at the thought of all the things she did to me…

all that useless energy spent on hurting me…

and in the middle of an indiana afternoon that feels more like a quiet pensilvania highway in 1979, i find myself missing her and wishing she were here…

my heart feels weak and threadbare, if i ever had a soul it would be translucent and barren from how much it has been pulled apart…

go to him, or her…

tell them you love them and hold them…

you will never know how many times i should have and didnt and now wish i could, one last time, say i am sorry…

…