READY! SET! DIAL! 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 – 10/25/2000

From an early age i learned the most valuable lesson of all. “Do as i say, or else…”

This lesson comes from the fact that as a child i was very inventive. To the point i had a reserved room in the e.r. Let me explain.

One day i ventured into the basement to check on my fathers trains. He had a wonderful collection of toy trains and i did, so love to watch them run around the track.

On this particular day, my father had completed his secret project, a house in his little town, that could catch on fire! BOY’S, FIRE, a match made in heaven.

i watched this blase of his with wide eyes, (fire is very soothing to a boy) and admiration. My dad could control fire! what was next, space flight?

Wanting to be my fathers son, i decided i to could master the beasty, so i snuck his lighter fluid from under the sink. 75 feet of race track and two of my best cars to fake an auto accident.

****(DO NOT TRY THIS IN YOUR OWN HOME. FIRE IS NOT A TOY AND SHOULD BE PLAYED WITH WHERE YOUR STUFF, AND THE STUFF OF YOUR FATHERS CAN NOT BE HARMED. IF YOU VALUE THE RIGHT HEMISPHERE OF YOUR BRAIN, DO NOT PLAY WITH FIRE IN OR ON YOUR PROPERTY. go to a friends house.)

The resulting blase was a topic of discussion for quite some time in my family. i never saw a house go up so quickly. i never tried to fake an auto accident either, but both were a valuable lesson for me.

The house still stands, but it just doesn’t seem as bright these days, and in the summer, you can still smell a hint of smoke in the air. My father quietly sheds a tear over his lost train set. i still find the time to waste a Saturday looking for the right side of my brain. (It has to be in that house somewhere.)

The lesson learned; the Ferrari is far more flammable, than the johnny lightening baha bandit. And much faster. (i smile when i think of those two flaming cars flying down the track at breakneck speeds. i knew the Ferrari would win…)