Dilemma

My neighbor is taking up a lot of time in my head. The main issue is that I cannot decipher his intentions.

He strikes me as the type of person who needs A LOT of time to warm up to someone — even more than me, if that is possible. He likes the slow and the steady.

Some background information is that he was married — to a woman — and they split two years ago. I do not think it was a great relationship as she was never, ever at the house. She was there maybe once a week. I never questioned his sexuality until fairly recently. He comes around every other month or so and will find a way to talk to me. We’ll talk for an hour or two outside and then that’s it. My impression of him at that time was that there was some unexplainable energy but that this was probably all on my end and that he likely just wanted a friend. I thought I was the one who was nuts for thinking it could be anything else. This all changed around NYE.

FedEx decided to start delivering all of my mail to his house. He came over and delivered it at like 10pm and knocked on my door ignoring my big huge sign that says “working from home, please do not knock or ring the doorbell. it is okay to leave packages on the doorstep.” Now, he knows I do not work at 10 pm but he just stayed there for awhile and I decided to come out of my garage. He handed me the box and then went about his merry way because it was like 0 degrees outside. Two days later, the same thing happened. This time, he opened the package. I felt this was odd considering he was not expecting something and he just went through this situation with my stuff being delivered so I think he was just being nosy. This was right after the New Year. Then he said something that made me raise a brow. He said that he heard a sound outside one Friday night and decided to take a peak over the fence. He said I had my blinds open and just happened to come to the window when his head was over my fence. I do not recall going to the window and couldn’t figure out the reason he told me this unless he thought I saw him and was trying to excuse his odd behavior so I wouldn’t think he was a weirdo. I made light of it. Then the next day, it was a Saturday, FedEx decides to deliver my dogs food and my law books at 7 pm. It was dark outside and rather cold. He was standing in his driveway when I went to get the stuff and called my name from where he was at.

I remember hearing him say my name. And I instinctively just kept my head down and pretended to not hear him. I do not understand why I act like this but I think it is a defense mechanism. I have these feelings for him and I would rather appear to be stand offish than have googly eyes. Then he started jogging over to me to catch me before I got into my garage and closed it. He looked at me and said “I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come to dinner with me at my parents house.”

Of course, my heart jumped out of my chest. I remember bending down and playing with the mulch in order to have something to do with my hands.

I said “sure! I’d love to go.” As soon as the words left my lips, the biggest smile came over his face. Almost like a sigh of relief. I’ve never seen him like that before.

He said it was his birthday dinner. I said “oh, so you’re a Capricorn! Interesting.” (Disclaimer: I know very little about zodiacs, my heart, mouth, and brain were struggling to work in tandem to appear “typical.”)

He said he wanted to go get in the shower and get cleaned up. I said “okay, so do you want me to follow you there?” He said “no, I’ll come get you when I’m ready.” And me, trying to be slick, said “OK, just message me!” clearly ignoring the fact he just said he would physically come and knock on my door to get me. (I wanted him to have my number.)

He scratched his head pretending to try and remember if he has my number before saying “Hmm… I don’t think I have your number…” and so I gave it to him. I went back inside and had a panic attack. My heart rate was almost 170 which is apparently really bad. I cannot explain the energy when he is around. I just can’t. It is not something I have ever felt before.

Not long after, he messages me that he’s ready and I head out. I have never had a man drive me somewhere. He got pretty cleaned up. I do not remember seeing him this cleaned up. Normally he wears some cargo shorts and a white work shirt. Like a robot. Even on days off. He looked … nice.

We get there and I find out it is literally just his parents, him, and me. No one else. The table is set. His Dad asks for my coat. I am trying to process what is happening. Is this normal?

Dinner comes and goes — before you know it, three hours have passed with his parents and I talking. He did not say much. On the way out, I followed him and made a joke about Seinfeld. When we got back home, we linger for a bit talking and he makes a joke about having to use the bathroom and I exit with that joke. He said thanks for coming and that it is sometimes hard to have conversations with his parents.

Everyone I have told about this says clearly it is unusual for a straight male to invite his neighbor to dinner with his parents unless it is something more. As if it is a romantic gesture. I hate stereotyping people, but I also understand that we are humans and stereotyping is something we go naturally. with that said, I do not think it is a newsflash that I’m gay. I don’t think it would take a rocket scientist to figure it out and if he truly, by some miracle, does not know — then he is living on another planet. With that said, a straight male inviting a gay male to dinner with his parents — and driving him… this is even more tallies on the board for this could be a romantic gesture.

Afterwards, I was so confused. I reached out to psychics for like $1 and of course they all were like wow, this is a no brainer. Romantic gesture. I only reached out because I was not ready to talk about it but needed someone, anyone to tell me that I was not crazy for considering the possibility.

I messaged him the next day and wish him a happy birthday in Russian. He waited all day to respond, even when I knew he was home. Maybe he was playing games with me too trying not to respond too quickly. Or maybe it is all innocuous.

I’m really confused but I wanted to put it out here for someone to read and maybe offer their opinion. What do you think? I know I’m nuts but do you think there could be more?