This won’t be easy….

Part two. Set in a timeline bc I have blocked most of the next part out due to PSTD…

December 1979 – I move into my second foster home.

Sometime in 1982 to 1984 – I move into my foster sister Karen’s home and am returned back two years later as she is pregnant and wants to raise her own family.

1984-2006 a big black hole, but the abuse both physical and emotional scars me. I am put into a highly abusive home with two drunks as “parents”. I am literally a prisoner. The only saving grace was my foster niece Robin and the birth of my foster nephew Mathew in 1992. I raised him from birth to aged 13. 

1997 – I go to Seneca College and meet Bees. We bond ostensibly over the Backstreet Boys. She has been my rock.

I want to tell you of the abuse but I …. I can’t. The triggers are deep there. 


I hope that I haven’t disappointed y’all. 🙁


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4 days ago

Sammy, it’s your diary. You get to write what you want. If you aren’t ready to talk about something, that’s okay. It won’t change how any of us think of you. I am glad that you had people who were able to help you get through these rough times. I’m glad that you still become a good person. Get yourself some extra pudding, ok? (I don’t know if there’s any pudding available, but I hope so)

@heffay 😊❤💖💋🌹

4 days ago

Nope you have never ever disappointed me in any way…I think you are just the coolest dudette I have ever met…Write what you want and never apologize for what you have written.

4 days ago

I was raised in a very abusive home.  I get it.  You didn’t disappoint.   Your diary and you need to write in any way that makes you feel comfortable.

I have blocked out alot from my past.  Even good parts. 🙁

Hope you have a good night.

4 days ago

Oh my gosh… Don’t you ever worry about disappointing anyone. You are writing “your” story and it needs to be on your terms. Only write what you are comfortable writing.  I’m sure most of us here want to give you huge cyber (((Hugs))) right now.  It takes courage to write what you have already written. You are courageous. You’ve had to deal with a lot in your lifetime and yet, here you are… maybe braver than you even realize. As for us… we think you’re amazing!.

4 days ago

Of course you don’t disappoint. ((((HUGS))))

4 days ago

I’m not disappointed but I am left with questions.

What did you study in college?  Looking back on the Backstreet Boys, how do you feel about them now?

As for the more weighty stuff, did you ever see your birth family again?

@elcreature I studied college vocational but dropped out to look after Mat. 🙂 LOL BSB did a great job on that at home concert. I still like Nick. I’m glad he didn’t choose Paris. LOL And my mother yes twice a long time ago and I still keep in touch with my half brothers and their families on FB… Dad’s side? No… sadly, all I know is that he lives in BC–Vancouver.

3 days ago

@littleavocado ever been to the 🇺🇸?

@elcreature Never. Never been outside Canada.

3 days ago

@littleavocado Y’all need to plan a summer vacation.

3 days ago

You are never a disappointment and you don’t have to talk about things you don’t want to. It’s your diary.

3 hours ago

I completely understand. I went through a lot with my stepfather while my mom sat by and did nothing. She still refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing, which eats at me if I let it. I have a hard time telling my husband about it. I start to shake and get upset talking about it. But I’d rather he know because he’s the first person who’s ever really cared when I told them. But you are definitely among like minded friends here.