Today

I forgot to mention this, but 4 days ago, was my ex-fiance’s birthday… I don’t know why I always remember this, but I do. I guess I miss him still. He kind of looked like Billy Corgan with hair.

 

His name was Greg Ryder. I remember meeting him in ’88 in high school, we started dating and then shortly before we were forced apart by my godawful foster mother, he proposed to me. I know that it isn’t good to hold grudges against the dead, but I highly resent Eleanor.

I was in my early 20’s when this happened.

Shit.

Anyways, just wanted to get that out… I know that’s highly sensitive material but I needed to get that out.

So, how are my hens this morning?

Sammy

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May 8, 2020

I named my daughter after Billy Corgan.

Her first name was going to be Corgan but people gave me crap about it (people shouldn’t do that).  After I gave birth, I held her in my lap as I looked intently at her deciding on her name.  The nurses started pestering me to name her because the delay was holding up the paperwork lol.  The hospital allowed me to stay an extra day because I get severe post-partum depression after I give birth (wailing to the point of suffocation, and only now looking back do I know why I was hit so hard) and so she wasn’t officially, formally named until she was 2 days old.

Like her sister before her, I gave her a double name without a hyphen.  Her sister’s name is Gabrielle AnnaMaria.  Her name is EmmaGrace Corgan.

Peter Gabriel was the inspiration for Gaby’s name.  He was my first musical love.  I fell deeply in love with his music when I was 10 years old.  But of course I was going to name one of my children after him!  Lol.

You remember his birthday because you loved him and he was a significant other.

Me and my kids know all about foster care / foster homes!  All four of us were foster kids.  Emma is the only one to have a family out of it.  Drew, my son, became family with his father’s side in adulthood.  Gaby is still a community soul.  I’m left alone to eternally grieve the loss of my family.

I married a man named Greg.  It was the biggest mistake of my life.

My cruelest foster mother: Sandy, and Mrs. Crow.  And the other Sandy.

But I loved Irene and Emile.  When Emile died, his daughter told me and I burst out into tears.

Today’s a pretty good day.  Billy is wonderfully talented.

May 8, 2020

@elcreature EmmaGrace Corgan is a lovely name. I guess you are right… he was and is special to me. Peter Gabriel is an amazing musician. I remember in grade school this guy who had a crush on me, wrote the lyrics to Big… lol I love Steam. That man was handsome in that video!!

I’m glad you liked one of your foster parents. I didn’t.

May 8, 2020

@littleavocado we have good taste in music and men lolol

May 8, 2020

@elcreature Aye so.

kat
May 8, 2020

maybe you can reconnect?

May 8, 2020

@kaliko If I could find him. I have had so many dreams of reconnecting somewhere Kat. 😮

May 8, 2020

Yeah my ex died about 2 years ago or so and every now and then I think how he has wasted his life by not being in his youngest sons life.

May 8, 2020

@jaythesmartone Not a smart one. 🙁

May 8, 2020

I experienced something similar when I was 14, and there’s a novel about it, too…  But when I found him years after I was really disappointed.

May 12, 2020

Have you ever thought about getting back in touch with him? I wonder where he is now.

May 20, 2020

Where else do you get to share those feelings but here, in your space? I’m sorry you were torn apart by someone else. Of course you have resentment. Curious to know where he is. Did you ever check up on that? Not sure if you’re married? You know I understand those feelings anyway. <3 Thanks for sharing. 🙂

May 20, 2020

@free_spirit_gal Exactly. TY. I am very curious as to where and what he is doing… not married. I would be if that bitch hadn’t broken us up.