Why are emotions so hard?

I used to have a diary on here years ago. I don’t remember my username, but I mainly logged in when I needed to rant. I found out that it was back and decided to carry on the tradition.

I am polyamorous. I always have been, even from when I was young before I even knew what polyamory and monogamy were, I didn’t understand love triangles ect and just wondered why they didn’t all date each other.

I am not wired for monogamy. Never have been, never will be.

My dilemma:

I’ve met two guys online that want to be with me. No problem for me. Problem for one of them, he’s monogomous and wants me to be too.

My problem is, yes, I could choose to be monogamous, but I’m NOT monogamous and wouldn’t be happy.

I really like him, but I just don’t think I can be monogamous. It’s not about sleeping with people ect, I’m actually not a very sexual person. It’s more about the emotions and the different kind of connections I get with people.

The other guy is also poly, no issue there.

I don’t want to hurt anyone, but at the same time, I don’t think either of us would be happy in the long run.

Bleh, why are emotions so complicated?