3. Dreams….


I’ve had this recurring dream throughout my entire life that I’m on a bridge and I can see it and know it’s going to be a really steep drop. In the dream I can actually feel it as though I’m on a roller coaster and it usually wakes me up. Scares the shit out of me. I can usually see it up ahead and in the dream I even acknowledge that I’ve seen it before in other dreams and I panic in the dream. It’s trippy AF. Usually this happens before a major life change, or something catastrophic, sometimes a job, I had them all the time while I was pregnant, all the time while I was grieving, things like that.

last nights dream was weird. In it, I worked at a carnival, and was operating a lot of the rides. The one ride was this giant roller coaster and I didn’t want to operate it because that meant I’d have to get on it, and I said “no I see this bridge in my dream all the time, I’m not getting on that thing”…. Suddenly, I’m on bumper cars from the carnival going over the Delaware memorial bridge which was also that roller coaster. Now- in real life, I’m legitimately afraid of this bridge. It scares the piss out of me. But in the dream, I’m about to go over this bridge, and HE is in the bumper car with me asking why I’m so afraid, and told me don’t worry, he’s right there and wasn’t going anywhere, and grabbed my hand saying “see? We’ll go together. It’s not that scary, you can do it.” And as I was going over the bridge/roller coaster, it felt like it was flat, not steep at all, but when I looked back it was HUGE, with HUGE incline, and I was surprised that it didn’t feel like that at all.

that was the first time in my life I had that dream that didn’t scare the fuck out of me. In the dream I’m always telling myself to wake up before I get to the bridge but I never do until I drop.

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