6. More dreams

Had this dream that I was dating this guy that I used to hook up with back in the day… super nice guy, but I was just out of a relationship and he was in the middle of a weird divorce (he and his ex wife were still friends and still lived together but it was still weird lol. She was super nice and all, but it was so odd dating him, albeit VERY casually, and spending the night with him with his ex wife living in the house lmao)

anyway… had I dream I was dating him. I lived at the beach- actually in a house ON the beach. And I was doing work around the house. Cleaning, sparkling, fixing pipes…. And that guy asked me to go get drinks at a bar that conveniently was downstairs from where I lived (sounds like a dream lol)

suddenly I got a text from this guy that I am still completely in love with (he’s reading this. Hello again!) saying he wanted to get back together. Before I have a chance to answer, he’s right next to me and telling me we need to shower to get ready to go out- to that downstairs bar. Meanwhile I’m trying to not let him know that I was seeing someone else, so I was trying to text that guy to tell him “hey, S***** and I are getting back together, I can’t see you anymore” but I was trying to get somewhere to be alone so I could do that, and the only place I could be alone was the shower- but then he appeared in the shower with me.

woke up thinking that was weird, and went back to sleep.

I dreamed I was seeing another guy that I know, a friend that I almost dated a long time ago, there definitely used to be some tension there between us and we used to flirt a lot but I’d always end up in other relationships with other people because I’m a jerk lol. In it, we were getting ready for bed and I was checking my phone for messages from S***** and this friend of mine said “he’s gonna be back in the morning, stop checking” and then he put his arm around me and it felt just like it always felt like with this man that I’m all 😍 over.

I woke up feeling like I missed him so much more. I know that water in dreams represents emotions and depending on how the water is (still water, rough water, etc) that’s supposed to represent the feelings. I remember the beach being regular waves, not anything too turbulent, but then the shower. I’m wondering what that’s supposed to mean.

I am wondering why I had dreams that I was seeing other people, one that I previously dated, one that I almost dated, but in both, it was temporary and they both involved the other relationship being rekindled. We aren’t ready to rekindle that in real life. I’ve thought a lot about this. I personally would feel afraid of getting involved with him again because I can’t go through another breakup like this. Granted, he’s been so wonderful and so graceful during this, and just so kind and sweet, it’s also the most painful because I love him so.., SO much. I have dreams that end up happening, they always have this weird… vibe, or tone, or something, and last nights dream had it. Maybe that’s representing the future because I can’t see myself getting involved with anyone else at this moment, and I’m actually so afraid of feeling this pain again that the thought has crossed my mind that I may never WANT to be with him again because he’d just make me love him even more by being his sweet and charming self and I’m going to fall apart completely if it ended again.

S*****, if we ever do this again-  thats got to be it for me. I’m not doing any more breaking up with you. We will sit down and work our shit out but we aren’t going anywhere. That’s the rules.

anyway, these dreams really stayed with me today.


EDIT (11:28pm) okay, weird. The guy in dream number 2 called me just now to ask where I went on Facebook. It’s odd because we don’t talk much, last time I talked to him was liiiiike…   May? Something like that. Anyway. I briefly filled him in….deleted it for my mental health, etc… boyfriend and I broke up, etc. and he said “you guys will work it out, I don’t know why you’re worrying about it.”
not that he’s really familiar with the situation, but it was weird because he said something similar in my dream.


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