Worried for my daughter

My son had me pick him up early this afternoon to go to start work earlier than usual. He’s never up quite that early so I knew something was wrong. Turns out my daughter and her fiance were fighting real bad and woke him up. He got dressed and hightailed it outta there! I worry about my daughter and her fiance because this isn’t the first real bad fight. There’s been many. Just about a month ago they got into it so bad they were going to call off the engagement. My daughter explained to me that ever since she got off her depression medicine ADHD medicine she’s been moodier than usual causing lots of fights. My daughter is a hard person to get along with sometimes. I have learned to just shut my mouth when she gets mouthy with me si has my son. Her fiance tries not to fight but she then yells and screams at him for not answering her. He’s a really great guy! He and my daughter are very much alike in their interests. They make a great couple. I just wish she’d not go so hard on him. I know they love each other and always make up but I’m afraid one day he’s going to get tired of fighting and just give up. I asked my daughter recently whether she’s gotten a new psychologist yet so she could get back on her meds but she says she hasn’t. She did make an appointment with her childhood primary care doctor though and is hoping he’ll fill her scripts until she finds a new psych doctor. You see she moved out of state at 16 so she hasn’t seen this doctor since then and since he sees adults and children she can go back to him now that she’s back home again. I wish she’d make it a priority to get a new psych sho she can get regulated back on her meds. Hopefully that would help her get along with people better. I’d hate to see gett lose a great guy like him. He’s not perfect! He does have his faults and I can understand her feeling frustrated with him sometimes but I’ve heard the way she talks to him sometimes and I feel awful for him. I messaged her a little bit ago and just asked if they were ok and amazingly she didn’t rip me a new one. She did say that unless she seeks me out to talk about what’s going on to please mind my business. She said she knows that I care and she appreciates that but basically stay out of it. Then she says they’re fine and she didn’t want to talk about it. I let her know that I am here if she wants to talk and that I love her. That’s all I can do. My mom always got into all my business when I’d have a fight with a significant other and I hated it so I’m not going to push her. 

Anyway, I talked to my son about the dog he was hoping to take in but it looks like he can’t get her after all. When he contacted the pound to check on her she was already transferred somewhere else. He feels awful about it but he also realized that maybe it’s for the best because he doesn’t have the time to devote to that dog. He works usually 4 or 5pm til 3:30am then goes home and winds down a bit and then sleeps until 3 or 4 when he has to get up and shower and go to work again. The responsibility would fall on my daughter and her fiance and they hardly have time themselves for their pets. So he’s saddened by it and really hopes she finds a good home. I’d take her but my 2 dogs are all I can handle right now. I can’t handle another. 

Tonight I made my ham and hashbrown casserole for dinner and tomorrow I’m trying a new recipe for fish tacos with slaw and a sauce to go on them. I realized I bought the wrong kind of fish so I’m giving that to my parents when I go over there tomorrow. Then tomorrow afternoon I’ll run to the grocery store and get the right kind. Basically it calls for fresh or frozen cod but I accidentally bought breaded frozen cod. It’s not suppose to be breaded. You season it and cook it. If I like them enough I might add them to my monthly grocery list. 

I guess that’s all for me tonight. I hope everyone is doing good and staying cool! Take care!

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June 12, 2021

I like that you let your daughter know you are there for her.  It is so hard not to say or do something for our adult children.  I hope the dog he found will be adopted.

June 13, 2021

Hate to say it but sometimes I think these kinds of people shouldn’t be in relationships, let alone having kids.

June 13, 2021

I pray she gets back on her meds and stays on them. They help me so much

June 13, 2021

Many mentally ill people find it difficult to stay on their medications. I guess it’s logistics, as with your daughter, but it’s also that the side effects can be so difficult to deal with, and that keeping them all filled and maintained takes time and attention.

It was difficult for me to acknowledge that I am depressed and that I will need special care because of my depression and anxiety. My husband helped me accept everything — he pointed out that if I had a heart condition, I wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever the doctor said, and depression and anxiety are similar, lifelong conditions. I wouldn’t stop my diabetes meds or fail to refill my other medications, so it makes sense to accept the lifelong nature of my condition.

Once I finally accepted the fact that I will be on antidepressants for the rest of my life, I worked hard to get the scripts on the same pickup and drop-off schedule. I know what side effects to expect and I cope with them with rest and other things. I realize that constipation, weight gain, insomnia, and other things are side effects to expect and deal with. It’s worth all the expense and hassle to function as normally as possible.

I hope your daughter comes to realize that she must stay on her medications indefinitely, and that the help they give her to get along with others is worth its weight in gold. The specter of losing her fiancee because of her attitude is a good warning about the things that can happen if she doesn’t manager her conditions.

June 13, 2021

@darkmadonna She’s only off them because her old psychiatrist is about an hour and a half away. She needs to find a new one and then she’ll stay on her meds. She admits they make her feel much better and likes to be on them.