The never ending story of my life

I am not sure really how to start this, but I will try my best. First off, I feel like I need to just vent and get all of my thoughts and feelings out on paper or digital record, whatever. Full disclosure, I am under the influence. Of what, I will not mention. Just know if I seem to be rambling, then you know the cause. That being said, I feel like I have so much to say that I really don’t know where to start. I suppose I could start with what primarily takes up all of my time and energy, that being my son, Asher. Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way complaining that my son takes up all of my time and energy. I can’t imagine my life without him. I want to give him all of my time and energy. I just sometimes feel I don’t have enough to give him. I feel like I’m not enough. I feel lacking in some way or other. I never feel like I do enough. There is always more to be done, more to learn, more to teach. I want my son to grow up to be a happy and fulfilled person. I know there is no such thing as a perfect childhood, but I want to give my son as close to perfect as possible. He deserves the world. His kindness and love he shows to everyone he meets is just awe-inspiring. He is my biggest role model. I think I said that before, but it is so true. Anyway, my fingers are becoming numb as I type this on my iPad. I guess I’m done blabbering for now. Goodnight and good dreams to anyone who happens to read this. And know that to anyone who wants to talk, I am here to listen. Thanks and bye for now.

Love,

Marissa M. ❤️❤️😚

 

 

 

 

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April 4, 2022

I’ve never been a parent. So feel free to ignore this.

There is a saying that is something like this, “The act of asking yourself if you are crazy is evidence that you are not.” Look at the way you write about your son. The love is obvious. He wouldn’t be any of the nice things if you weren’t doing a ton of great things for him. I’m sure you’re not a perfect parent, no one is. You want the world for him because of that love. Be kind to yourself.

April 4, 2022

@heffay thank you so much for your kind words. 😊❤️

September 22, 2022

How much do you love your son? This cannot be measured in words right? As a human, to measure love is something that we cannot fathom to put a number or quantify to measure. So the next best thing than to measure love is to express it. You express love to one another in many ways. You may feed him, clothe him, bathe him, etc. Even when you are away from your son you still think of him and express your love in thoughts towards through your hearts window and you randomly send him love before you physically see him. Now imagine one day, your son grows up goes to college, parties with his friends and drinks and drives one night. On his drive home he is under the influence from drinking and runs a red light and kills an innocent driver. He goes before the judge and the judge gives him a lifetime sentence. Would you stop loving him because he made a mistake that cost an innocent persons life? Would you stop visiting him in jail? Would you comfort him? I am a parent myself and as a parent I know your answer to these questions is you would always love your son no matter what. You will never stop loving your son, you will never give up on him, you will always be there for him no matter what choices he makes in life.  Now how much more do you think God loves us? We are children of God and he created us.  As his children we have made mistakes in our lives yet he still loves us, provides for us and shows us his love through his grace upon our lives each and every day. He blesses us with children and we become better human beings all because of them if we choose to. So with all this I want to say, the lessons we teach our children while they are young will have a much more profound impact on their lifetime. You wont always be there for them when they go out and party or hang out with bad influences but it is up to us as parents to guide them and instill in them good values and strong positive morales that will always stick with them throughout their lifetime. They will always come back to us when they need help or just are having a bad time in their life we will be there to console them. In the same way as parents we need to go to God to ask for his help because we are his children and we always need his help raising our kids, protecting our kids, showing our kids that they are loved and so much more. If they learn this from you then when they have kids of their own they will do exactly as they have learned from their mom. But there will also be times you will need to let your children fall down and allow them to get back up on their own even though it might hurt you to see go through it. It will teach them to be strong, brave and persistent. In the same way you have fallen in life growing up , God has been there for you and never left you. He was watching you the whole time and allowed you to suffer but he never stopped loving you. He encouraged you, protected you, loved you and guided you along the way. So with this is leave you and remind you to think instead, You have more than enough to give your son because God has always provided for you through out your life so you have more than enough. You are blessed, loved, cherished, and if he did it for you, God can also do the same for your son!