PoseBox

I opened a blog on posebox. I’m “Witchy Woman” over there. With OD being down for A WEEK! I felt I had no other choice. This will always be my first blog. The one I’ve tried to stand by, but seems though I have a free membership, it’s no longer worth my time to write. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’ll keep coming back to write. I have friends here. I will always think of this as my “home.” But what can I say? After as many years of blogging as I have had, and to loose all that because of someone updating servers and not preparing for any problems, then going on vacation without double checking that it’s back up?

I hate to say it, But I guess… Since not many of us are blogging the weekly themes anymore, and our thoughts don’t really matter… maybe moving is the best I can do. I just hope that I won’t loose my old entries. I don’t know how to download them. I don’t know how to back them up.

The way my life is changing, I guess this is just a piece of me I will have to let go.

Eventually it’ll make since. I’ll be happy again. Right now? There is too much going on in my life. I can’t have a blog I can’t count on to be there when I need it. I can’t afford to pay for it, I can’t do much to change the way things are. They just… are. now what? What am I going to do?

Will I say “Good Bye OpenDiary” or will I keep trying to hold on? I wish I knew, I wish I could count on something.

In a few days I’ll undergo another biopsy. I’ll be in pain. I’ll be miserable. Then I’ll turn 30, and the change of everything will begin.

I’ll start some meds to help me loose weight. That struggle has been blogged about on here, my efforts, hopes, and disappointments. I’d like to continue that here. But how Can I keep blogging on OD when I can’t count on the servers? The site?

Doctor Schnurr is going to prescribe me something to help loose the weight. After almost 3 years of eating right, and exercising, I weight the same I did now, as I did before I had my son. I gained some pounds in the last few weeks of my pregnancy, but lost those right away leaving me two pounds lighter at the end, than at the beginning, but I spent my whole pregnancy walking, eating right, and trying to give my son the best start possible. Still, my body didn’t lose weight. it maintained. After, I kept eating right and walking, Still? No weight loss.

I guess this is one of the many topics I will write about in PoseBox.

I find this depressing, thinking back to how my blog is not something I can count on. Having to “walk away” from it. Leaving my friends. I’m hurt. And now? With this biopsy? The anxiety? Christmas? My 30th Birthday? All the same three days. I’m trying to find ups in my life. Things I should look forward to. But here goes…

my life is ever changing.

I’m meeting with a man tomorrow about the idea of opening a studio in my town. i don’t know if it’s a good idea or not. Maybe it’s just a waste of time, and the idea is silly. maybe it is a good idea, but… I don’t have what I need to make it happen?

Who knows… The biopsy is bigger on my mind right now.