Advice?

So, things have been happening. Lots of things.

After things with Ed went down, I decided to venture out again and find what I really wanted. A relationship, with a nice guy. A single guy.

I ended up finding it faster than expected. Andrew.

Andrew is kind. We talked via email and text for a while before deciding to meet up one night for coffee. At first, it was just the idea of finally getting out and dating that pushed me forward. I told Ed about it, and things began to spiral out of control.

Suddenly, I have this new person in my life who wants the same things that I do. He’s kind and single and makes me feel good. But he’s not Ed. And meanwhile, I have Ed telling me how he’s feeling jealous and now knows what I felt like this whole time- to which I basically laughed in his face and told him to get a grip. Ed and I are friends now. In a weird way, it’s changed our relationship and the way we see each other. Having him still be in my life is a good feeling, and I feel more at ease around him an able to joke around more.

But, back to Andrew.

What to say.. Things are moving fast. They don’t feel all that fast, but I know they are. We went for a coffee date, we went for dinner and we watched a movie at his place. Then we went to play pool one night and I stayed over at his house. Since then, I’ve stayed over another night and I’ve even left a box of toiletries at his place.

The problem is, my mother is freaking.

I’m 30 fucking years old. It’s bad enough I live at home still, but it’s all the more complicated when you throw in a mother who won’t let go and trust you. I had planned to go to his place again tonight- we were going to see a late movie and I was going to stay over at his place and go to work from there tomorrow. It makes sense- it’s a seemingly normal thing for a 30 y/o woman to do. Except my mom came to my room this morning to ask me what my plans were for tonight and this is the conversation that happened….:

Mom: what are you doing tonight?
Me: going to a movie I think.
Mom: and you’re coming home after?
Me: no.
Mom: no, you’re coming home after! You can sleep in and go to work tomorrow instead of hanging around in Ottawa.
Me: *blank, open mouthed stare*
Mom: it’s too early for you to be staying over at his house.

And then she walked away.

Like… What? Did that happen for real? Did my mother just tell me I wasn’t allowed to stay over at his house?!

…. And the thing is, I am so used to living here and under her damn thumb that I’m actually considering listening to her. What the fuck?!

I’m so fucking … I don’t even have words.

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November 17, 2013

This expectation from your mom would be more understandable if you were in your very early 20s, but you’re not. You need to do what feels right to you, if it ends up being a mistake then you’ll learn from it. However fast this may be, if it feels right… do it.