Stressed and Overwhelmed

I’m so beyond stressed out and overwhelmed right now. In the midst of me trying to work on myself, my father in law is having medical issues. We actually moved in with my in laws bc they just need so much help. The past couple of months, my FIL was having a hard time breathing. Come to find out he had fluid in his lungs. We took him to the ER and they drained out a liter in a half. This happened for a few weeks. I now drain him at home, on top of taking him to all doctor/chemo appointments. He has no appetite, so his not eating is leading him to have no strength, so now he falls. He’s a 90 year old man. His body can’t take everything that’s going on. At some point during the night the night before last he hurt himself. He probably fell, but won’t say. I was babysitting my niece yesterday and was gone from 6am until about 3pm, then had to stop at the store on the way home. I get in and go upstairs to talk to him. He shows me his hand. There’s a f*cking hole in it. So now I get to take him to urgent care and sit there for an hour and a half. I don’t mind helping. I don’t at all, but it’s getting to be a lot. My MIL has retired. I thought it would be easier with her here. Nope. I almost feel like it’s worse. I’m tired. I started to smudge and do my affirmations. She calls me to bring my father in law’s food downstairs. I try to journal instead. She calls me again, bc he doesn’t want his food. He wants something else. Husband will be away this weekend. He’s leaving tomorrow afternoon and will be back Sunday. It’s ALL me during that time. I was supposed to go to my neighbor’s house tomorrow to drink with her. She may not be able to now. Most of my friends live 45+ min from me. I don’t wanna leave and go far bc God forbid something happens here. Even if I leave after he’s in bed, he could end up hurting himself trying to go to the bathroom or something. Like, I’m afraid to leave the house. Husband is home. I’m gonna go have lunch. I may come back later.

 

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Breathe lady breathe… in through your nose, out your mouth… slowly… 😘