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Oh, that is *SO* sad! I understand unrequited love all too well… (but it’s lovely, as usual).

July 19, 2007

I love that first stanza… it breaks my heart. So beautiful. I wish I couldn’t relate. xo

July 19, 2007

who do you write to with such aching endless devotion. and such sad sweetness. ive never met anyone that deserves such poetry.

July 22, 2007

ryn: probably not. but maybe someday. i will have to wait until the estate is resolved.

I’m so sorry, BTW, that I haven’t been able to reply to your notes, David.It’s been all I could do to write down my entries.Let me start with your oldest…What do you mean by “Judgmentalism”? What did you find “judgmental”? The reason I ask is because some of the “judgemental” parts of “Christianity” are not found in the Bible at all and that’s part of the reason *I* stopped going to “church” too

I think that we’re more than just machines… because without the breath of life, we’re just a bunch of parts. We’re nothing without a brain that functions. I never believed in evolution (because it just doesn’t answer the important questions we keep asking (i.e. why are we here?,etc) but I don’t believe we’re all just spirits in a material world either.That’s why i said “machine”;such a cold word

…for such a wonderful gift, life, the body, but’s its true. we’re the fanciest machines ever built. guilt, btw, has never been much of a problem for me. being a Christian taught me to use my guilt (which i already possessed) for good. Guilt keeps me from indulging the inner madman i have running inside of me. “black and white in a world full of greys”. hmm. interesting thought.

five brothers and sisters, eh? so you understand better than most the hecticness of *my* life. thank you for the radio comment; and i hope you got some decent sleep. i don’t know if i can get any more sleep-deprived and still be considered “healthy”. college—> grey area i’m still trying to figure out. i know i’, NOT living on campus if i can help it. if i want madness, i can stay at home.

“weighty thoughts”? to this i say: meh. whatever my thoughts are, they keep me up at night. sometimes i wish i were a shallow idiot, oblivious to deeper issues so i can rest sometimes. i don’t watch t.v. anymore (though i spend plenty time doing useless things on the internet, shame on me).your sisters, btw, were using a flat-iron, and it’s MURDER on your hair (which is why I keep my Afro instead)

I’m sure your hair is *fine*. and if you don’t like it that much, it’s socially acceptable for YOU to be bald (I can’t do it without looking like sinead o’conner and being considered just as weird). I get sick of fiddling around with myself. It annoyes me I have to. It’s good to know that there *are* guys out there that don’t like Taneorxia. Gives girls like me hope 🙂

as for burnout, it’s a life-style for me. i baby-sit, i go and preach, i look for work, i dream of leaving and i hope to God my heart murmur (or arrthymia or whatever) doesn’t turn into something much more serious. i go to school and i sleep when i’m able. being young doesn’t enter into it. it’s rare when i get to put my feet up and relax (but when i can, OH, it feels *SO* good…

Infatuation is such a harrowing experience. The thought of most of the guys i used to like are still pleasant, but they make me sad if i think too much about them (because some were hopeless to be had, and some were perfect until it ended). if *you* liked someone like i like my desideratum, they must have been pretty special, with your gorgeous imagination and sense of humour and what have you.

I cannot play my favourite songs literally on the piano (well not most of them). the thing that keeps me practising is that there is a possibility that maybe one day, i *will* be able to. i’ve never heard any of The Smashing Pumpkins music.i might go check them out…

Forgiveness is the best thing in the world. It’s good to know that I’m not the only person who SUCKED at Chemistry. How I managed to get a “B” in that class is beyond me… Thanks; I’ll *need* it when it comes to him…

No, refusal doesn’t annoy me. Everybody has the right to decide what they do and do not want, and just because they don’t want it now does not mean they don’t want it EVER. Some of the most zealous Witnesses were those kind of people who said “I’ll NEVER be one”. We Witnesses don’t linger long,because we can usually tell who is and who is *not* interested by their behaviour. It would probably be..

…better if you didn’t come to the door at all, or tell the Witnesses you’re not interested early. I understand the reasons behind why people don’t want to be bothered sometimes. But then, how are you to know until you talk to them? People in my territory make themselves clear real easily, yes, even the rude bastards (LOL). The people who are interested *are* rare.On a street with 30 houses…

We usually go out in groups, so you and your partner will take turns and you might talk to five people. Maybe one (or on a good day) two will take some literature. Two will be polite disinterested. One will be a rude bastard…with an enormous dog. It’s just part of the work, and you don’t let it faze you once you get a handle on doing it often. I still hate nastiness, but I react a lot better now

I’m glad that I taught you *something* about my religion, however (that’s part of our aim, when we preach). And THANK YOU for saying such nice things about me, though it’s hard to imagine ME as a wife and mother. You never really know, but… well, you already know how I feel about love and whatnot. Hope to hear from you again soon 🙂 -Diane

July 25, 2007

Ow. Good, though.

July 26, 2007

its hard to admire something knowing you can never have it…..

December 24, 2007

longing. something we all ca relate to, and in these words you gave me that emotion fresh! New all over again. I agree with the note before. So sad.